chocolate cars

Dismissed

2011-03-21T23:22:00.000-07:00

Tonight I got a message from an old "friend" on Facebook and it just irritated me so much. I have been in contact with her as well as the rest of the group of friends from college since Elijah's diagnoses and so you would think she would be in the know, so to say. So she sent me a message saying I just saw the picture of you that says cancer sucks is that your little boy? (elijah?) I'm sorry. Oh and I see you have a daughter now, she is cute.

WTF! Our kids have played together and we used to have lunch together once a month and you can't even be bothered to know what his name is. First why not f***ing look at my page and see what is going on before you message me. Second I sent an email to you specifically saying I couldn't go to your event because of Elijah's chemo and treatments. If you have cared so little up to now why bother writing to me now. I don't take your letter as genuine concern, instead it just irritates me. So yes my son, whom you know and is the same age as your daughter, has cancer. Yes I have a daughter who you haven't bothered to know and will never know now. She is more than cute, she is my blessing. Why don't you just crawl back into the self righteous, self important cave you have been living in and stay the hell out of my life. I am done!

Normal Life

2011-01-14T22:51:00.000-08:00

Since Elijah was diagnosed I have heard a lot of people, including myself and other cancer parents longing for a normal life. Today it finally occurred to, why? Why in the world would I now want a normal life for my son? When I was in school did I strive for a C, no I wanted the A. I don't want a normal life for my children, I want an extraordinary life for them. The reality is their lives can't be normal, but that doesn't mean I have to allow the circumstances to give them less. In so many ways we are learning that we have incredible people in our lives and that we are more than ordinarily blessed. I think that solely striving for normal cheats everyone. I want my kids to know joy and laughter. To see beauty and love. To be able to face hard times with courage and strength. I want them to believe in themselves, and to know that both of their parents believe in them too. To solely strive for normal, misses the mark that I want in so many ways.

This week we had to make a very hard decision in the future of Elijah's care. The picc line that we had in his left arm fell out the other day in the hospital. Elijah needs some sort of central line to give him all of his treatment. There are several options for this and we had to decide which one was the best. Each option had strong points and weak points and we needed to evaluate that with what is best for Elijah. Ultimately Brad and I decided he would get a port o cath. The advantages to this is that there is nothing external sticking out of him that we have to take care of and keep dry. It also is less prone to infections. The down side is that it has to be accessed with a needle each time it is used. This is where we struggled to deal with normal. We worried that he may be abnormally bothered by the needle pokes. I kept weighing back and forth with what I thought a normal reaction should be to being poked with a needle. Then it hit me, normal kids hate getting shots and they react from it. So many times I sat in the pediatrician's office and listened to the wailing and screaming of "normal" kids getting vaccines. I already knew that Elijah handled getting shots and vaccines better than most kids his age. With this knowledge I have to believe that he will do ok, eventually with the needle accessing his port. The rest of the advantages allow Elijah to get back to striving for an extraordinary life, not restricted by tubes dangling from him as a constant reminder he is sick. We may be wrong in our decision, we may never know, but right now I am confident in our decision. This is just one more step in the path we choose for our son.

Screaming in an empty forest through a megaphone

2011-01-11T08:54:00.000-08:00

Ok so I came up with this title a couple days ago and at the time I was alone here, so please no disrespect meant to you P as I know you are hearing my rants. It is funny though that I have chosen to write here again knowing that really no one is checking here. I guess the reality of my situation is that I really need to vent and just get everything out being heard isn't nearly as important. It has been a bad couple of days around here, and considering our new baseline for bad days you can guess they have been really bad. We don't seem to be getting anywhere with Elijah's fever and hospital life is frustrate g at best. We have had a string of not very good nurses and problems escalating. Yesterday after a day of the nurses not listening to me say there was a problem with his picc line Elijah rolled over and his entire picc line came out and dropped on the floor. Let the drama really begin, because he didn't have a picc line they needed to start an iv, the nurse couldn't do it in his left arm so instead they put it in his right hand and then splitted his whole hand. Yes take a three year old and completely immobilize their dominate hand and see how that goes. All night long Elijah moaned and whimpered and curled into the fetal position. By 5 am the iv was beeping every 2 minutes that it was occluded. They try to change the dressing to see if that will help. Two minutes later it is beeping again. By now the good day nurse is on as well as our resident. They discuss it and finally decide to pull the iv and give Elijah a little drug break. But they will have to put the iv back in an hour for his next antibiotics, and they will have to draw labs separately for the level of antibiotics in his blood. Just in the nick of time the residents and our oncologist do rounds. The Oncologist decides to keep Elijah off of everything. In the short time Elijah has been cord free he has been happy, he has started eating. He has improved so greatly it makes you wonder why we are here in the first place. All the drugs and intervention aren't helping him any. Perhaps just leaving him alone to heal on his own from this infection is the best course.

Living in the spot light

2011-01-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

I am just a mom, I am not that special, talented, or unique. I like a lot of Moms am just trying to get through the day. Some days I can look at my kids peacefully asleep and think, today I was a good mom. More often though I think of how I came up short, missed things, or just didn't give them enough of my attention. I don't think that any of this makes me any different than most moms out there, we all struggle but we still love our jobs most of the time. Last month though my world changed. My 3 year old was pale so I took him to the doctor, thinking I was over reacting. They then sent me to the ER and by the end of the day I was told my son had Leukemia. So now I am a cancer mom. Let me assure you that the new title did not come with a cape. I am not a super hero, I don't have all the answers, and I am not now a better mom than anyone else. I am still just a mom, it is just I have some different problems to navigate my kids through. So please don't look at me with awe, don't treat me like I am the center ring at the freak show. Don't assume that I am handling things any better than anyone else would, because I am not sure I am. I now more than ever second guess every decision or choice I make and if I screw up we are back at the hospital. It is a lot of pressure and due to that I can't always meet every ones expectations of me. So don't expect much because I can't deliver.

I am dealing. I don't have a lot of choices in this because both my kids need me. My daughter is only 8 months old and she is being cheated. I can't be there for her like I want to be. I had to wean her and start her on formula because I can't nurse her and run my son back and forth for treatments. Something had to give and right now she is the one to always get the short stick. I am dealing with the guilt from this. So when I get out of the house without my kids, it is because I am taking a break. Give me a little space, I know you feel like you need to say something to me because we are going through a lot, but you don't. Really it is ok, just pretend you didn't see me. If you really can't help yourself and you have to say something to me, just say you are thinking of us and then walk away. It isn't that I don't appreciate the sentiment because really I do, I just would prefer to be emailed rather than cornered in a store. The thing is I am trying to clear my head sonI can get back to my kids and be a better Mom. I don't know what to say when people corner me, I get weird and babbly, and would rather chew off my arm than continue to fumble through an awkward conversation I am not prepared to be having.

I miss him already

2010-05-02T14:50:00.000-07:00

In 48 hours I will be at the hospital preparing to have my baby girl. As excited as I am to have her I am also a little sad, Elijah can not visit us in the hospital. Since I will be having a repeat c-section that means up to 4 days of being in the hospital and I have never been away from him that long. I know he will be ok with all his grandparents watching over him but still I can't imagine not seeing him all that time. I know I am going to cry on the way to the hospital. I guess part of the thing is that I know we are turning his world upside down and I am just leaving someone else to deal with it.

I am also over flowing with emotion right now so I guess it is easy for me to stress. Not only am I nine months pregnant but today is the third anniversary of my Dad's passing. I wouldn't want to be a person to get on my bad side today that is for sure. The good news is with me having the baby on Tuesday the whole family is here today to celebrate my Dad's life. He was an amazing man and I was lucky to have had him in my life for as long as I did. We will have BBQ spare ribs and potato salad in his honor tonight. So food will be plentiful and the stories will get loud.

Language

2010-03-25T07:26:00.001-07:00

Elijah is talking more and more. I will say that this is a great thing for many reasons, and I look forward to hearing his crazy stories and posting them for all to see. The problem is that as his language develops he loses some of the really cute Elijah words. For the longest time all liquid was Woe. Last week he began asking for juice or Woe. That was still fine and I liked that he was being more specific with what he was asking for, but then yesterday he asked me for water. It broke my heart a little for his word to go away. Last night for dinner I made pizza. In Elijah that would always be Pia, last night though he said oh Pizza. Why oh why can't he learn more words before he loses his cute words? He is turning into a boy everyday and this is the first time I look at him and want to slow time.

I know it is good that he is growing up and becoming more independent, especially with his sister quickly coming, but I love his being a toddler and am a little sad to see him grow up. The thing is I am not really a baby person. I see the first year as a blob year and was so happy when Elijah started walking and playing. Yes I loved him dearly the first year and I will love his sister too, but now is the first time in Elijah's life that I want to keep him at this age just a little longer. On Monday he will turn 2 1/2, each day he becomes more fun to watch. His imagination as he plays cracks he up. As I am typing this he is on the floor playing with his plains flying them. He then goes and gets his little farm and Moo's as he opens the cow door. He is learning and I for one love it. Yes my house is littered with toys that he brings out and then abandons, to run to the next thing, but it is a small price to pay.

All this makes me a little nervous for when the baby comes. I love where we are with Elijah and am scared about starting all over. How will she fit into the mix, and will Elijah get lost in that. Will she get the special time and attention that I had for Elijah? Will Brad and I have time to be a couple with two kids? I know we will work all these things out, but I am nervous for the transition. I will also say I am nervous to leave Elijah while I am in the hospital for almost a week. Yes his grandparents will all be there for him and will do a wonderful job with him, but he is my baby and I know I can't be there for him. I know I was just as nervous about how our lives were changing when I was pregnant with Elijah and now I wouldn't change anything, but still I worry. Since there are no answers that is all I can do for now.

Six weeks

2010-03-24T15:52:00.000-07:00

So I have decided to shake some of the dust of this old blog and write a new post. Who knows if anyone is even reading this anymore. I can't believe how much has changed in my life since I started this blog. I have become engaged, married, pregnant, lost a father, become a new mom, raising a toddler, selling our first home, buying a new house, moving, getting pregnant, and now in the final weeks of pregnancy. Not to mention countless other jobs and life events that have been chronicled here. It is funny how this space could be so important but then be virtually ignored for so long. I have decided though that too much history is here to just let it fade away into nothing. So while I don't make any promises to being an active writer here I do want to still post from time to time.

Now I sit here and look at my life I am so often in shock. I am a very lucky woman to have my family and friends. In 6 short weeks we will be the proud parents to 2 children, a boy and a girl. When I think about it I can't believe we have been so blessed. I had always believed that when I decided to get pregnant that I would have a hard time. I told myself that I would be ok with adopting if we couldn't have our own children. I don't know why I was so convinced that we would struggle but I was sure. When it came time to try to get pregnant, we went off the pill early than we originally planned because we were sure it could take a long time and I wasn't getting any younger. Much to my surprise we were pregnant right away and 42 weeks later our beautiful son entered the world. He is an amazing little guy and I can't imagine having a child more perfect to be a part of our family. He is everyday growing more and more. I often marvel at how we got such a perfect fit for us. We both knew we wanted to have another child to be E's sibling but agreed at first to wait until he was 1 1/2 to start trying so he would be over 2 when the next one was born. Then we realized that we wanted to buy a bigger house with a yard before we were pregnant again so we decided to wait. So many of our friends then got pregnant again and miscarried or struggled with pregnancy that I again worried that it would be difficult for us once we were ready. Boy was I wrong. We bought or house and moved in. Within the first two weeks of living here I was again pregnant. Unlike with Elijah I was sure there was no way I was pregnant so when I looked at the calendar and saw I was late I thought it was just the stress of moving. I took a test anyway before I threw a party for Brad's birthday just incase. I was completely shocked when the test said as clear as can be pregnant. As excited as I was I was also in shock, I hadn't really prepared myself mentally to be pregnant again so it took a little time for it all to sink in. After watching so many of our friends struggle though I was much more worried this time than I was with E. It was a great relief to have early testings to ease my mind that the baby was doing well and that it was going to be a girl. The beginning of the pregnancy flew by. Everything was happening so much faster than it did with E. Then the third trimester hit. These last few weeks are dragging! I can't wait to meet my little girl and cuddle her. I can't wait to not be pregnant. I am thankful though that we aren't a species like an elephant with a really long gestation, I think I would go completely nuts.

Well E is now awake from his nap and I haven't typed anything I originally meant to when I started this, and worse than that I no longer remember what I originally planned to say. Oh well chalk it up to pregnancy brain. If I remember later what the point of this was I will do a new post. See you later.

The Great House Saga

2009-06-27T06:33:00.000-07:00

Several months ago Brad and I made a decision that we would look in ernest for a new house. We wanted to stay in the city we currently live in for several reasons including an excellent school district. We had naively thought that finding a new house would be easy because of all the foreclosed houses that were flooding the market. The truth is there are very few houses on the market right now and fewer still you would want to live in. What we have heard and I don't know if it is true everywhere but it seems like it may be true here is that the banks are holding onto foreclosed homes and slowly releasing them to keep from flooding the markets and devaluing homes. We also found that regular people were not selling their homes now and holding on hoping that the market will get better before they sell. So with excitement and naive notions we began looking at houses. There were a lot of things we just didn't know about buying a house in this market and probably should have done a little more research to be better prepared. I looked at a couple of houses without Brad and they were cute but not right for us. Then Brad and I went to look at houses together. The first weekend we went we saw a house that we both loved and so we put in an offer. That is when we learned the first lesson, a short sale does not mean it will be handled quickly. It means that the bank will accept being shorted the money they are currently owed. As nobody, especially banks likes losing money it takes them a very long time to evaluate their options to make sure that they are not losing more than they have to. We put in an offer on the house April 6th and held our breath sure that we would be told we had the house any moment. That meant we had to get our townhouse ready to be sold. We were fairly certain it would sell fast as all the other units in our complex had. We started packing things up and putting them into storage, and had a handy man come and do some little fix it up things to make our house look better. Our realtor wanted us to list right away but we were nervous to sell if we had not heard back anything on the short sale house. Our realtor had scheduled a showing in the meantime and we felt bad backing out at the last minute so we let the people come and look at our house. They came and viewed the house and then we didn't really hear anything from them again. Honestly we were a little relieved as we were really not ready to sell yet. A month went by and we still had not heard anything on the short sale. We continued to look at all the new listings when they came up but honestly there was nothing we wanted that we could afford so we continued to wait on the short sale. Surely any minute they would let us know. Then it was suggested that we sell our place to the couple that had viewed it that day a month ago without putting it on the market for a long escrow. It would give us time to wait out the short sale or find another house. Further it meant that we would not have to try to keep the house spotless with a crazed toddler running around trying to destroy the house at any moment. The headache that alone would save was worth going ahead a selling to them.

So now we have a date that we have to move by and still had not heard on the short sale. This scared the living hell out of us so we stepped up house hunting into full gear. I was seeing every house that came on to the market the minute I got the listing. This meant that I would be viewing houses while Brad was at work and I would have to take Elijah with me. Thank God I have an Ergo baby carrier! At each house I would put Elijah into the Ergo on my back and would go check out the house. This saved me from having to chase E through someone's home or try to keep him from breaking things. Some of the houses were plain gross and I was glad that he was safely on my back and could not get sick from the filth and germs that festered there. Then while Brad was out of town I saw a house that was foreclosed. It was a good sized house with large bedrooms and bathrooms. We would have to act fast if we wanted the house. So we put in an offer before Brad had even seen it. Later when Brad returned we went back to look at the house. Looking a second time I saw things I hadn't noticed the first time in my haste to buy a house. The kitchen was small and there was no place to put a table. The house did have a lot potential but it would take a long time before we could make the improvements we wanted and so would have to live in it until we could. I began having second thoughts about it but soon it seemed as though it didn't matter because they gave the house to someone else. I was irritated by this but also relieved. Then they came back to us and said they would like to counter our offer s well as some others. We went ahead and accepted the counter knowing that we still may not get the house. Then there was a new listing for a house that was everything we had said we wanted except that it was on a semi busy street. We put in an offer and hoped for the best. Then the foreclosed home came back and said we could have the house. The thing was by this time I think we both knew we didn't really want that house. So while we were scared we backed out of that house and waited on either of the other two. The new house was being sold by real people and if that went through it would be a lot easier in the long run. The problem was they wanted 12 days to gather all the offers and then respond. While we hated this we had no choice.

This Thursday night 2 days before we were promised an answer Brad and I went on our weekly date night. We decided since it was not a black out day we would go to Disneyland with our season pass. We went to California Adventure first and then when it closed we went to DIsneyland. The fireworks were about to start so we went to a restaurant near the castle and got food and headed outside to watch the fireworks from the patio tables. As we looked for a table Brad got a phone call. Our realtor told us if we accepted the counter offer the house would be ours. Brad told me the news that we would get the house and as he finished the sentence the fireworks began to erupt. It was an absolutely incredible moment that we could not have try to create. I got tears in my eyes at that moment.

Friday morning we were to go to the new house and look it over one more time to make sure it really was the house we wanted. We walked through the house and were overjoyed to know it was ours. We agreed that this was indeed definitely "the House" and Brad signed the agreement. So after much stress and drama in less than 45 days we will have our new house. Almost three months after we put in the offer on the short sale house we have still not heard if we would get the house. I wonder if we will ever hear about it at this point.

House Hunting

2009-06-09T17:47:00.000-07:00

So I know I have been absent for a long time and I am pretty sure no one is really checking here anymore but incase anyone is still stopping by I thought I would post a little bit about why I have not been around much. For over two months now we have been actively looking for a new house. It is time that we live in a house that doesn't share any walls with someone else and has at least a little yard. To say that this has been frustrating would be a total understatement. We now know more about how real estate works or doesn't than I ever thought possible. We put an offer on a short sale house 2 months ago and are still waiting on an answer. I will tell more about this whole process when we finally have an answer but for now I will say if you are thinking about buying a house and it is a short sale run in the other direction! It is so frustrating and the process just drags on and on. In the meantime we have continued to look at other houses. Nothing is on the market now and so when something does finally turn up 20 people descend upon in and get into an all out bidding war. It is awful. A couple of weeks ago we found another house that we liked that was bank owned. We submitted a very good offer over asking price and yet we weren't even countered and it went to someone else. All told it ended up with over 10 offers. Hopefully soon we will have found a house and had an accepted offer, but in the meantime I am spending a lot of time looking at houses and preparing to move. We had no idea this was going to be so hard, but we are slowly making it through this.

Now You Know why I am insane.

2009-05-10T18:40:00.001-07:00

Eureka
Originally uploaded by The Eye of Brad.

This is a picture of my Mom. If you came from this you would be crazy too.

This is what happens when Gramma's spend time with their grandkids and spoiling them rotten. My niece had a lot of fun at my Mom's expense. Anyway happy Mother's Day Mom you always said we were driving you crazy it looks like you finally arrived. I love you .

I am in a funk

2009-01-04T10:50:00.000-08:00

I guess it is really no secret that this blog has all but died recently. I feel like I have nothing really interesting to share anymore. I am now a Mom and I feel like there is so little else to me. I used to have some original thoughts but lately I just feel so empty. I am trying this year to discover who I am again and not just Elijah's Mommy. So to help with this I am going to start actually using my YMCA membership and leave E in the childcare for an hour a day while I exercise, listen to music and regroup. I am not trying to whine here because I really do love being with Elijah and getting to stay home with him but I realized that without some me time I am a lousy wife and mother and we need a little more balance. Yesterday I let Brad watch E all day and I took a personal day and read a book from cover to cover. I still helped out when necessary but for the most part Brad was in charge while I got time to sit and read. It was wonderful and Brad handled the day great. I read the book Marley and Me, because I know there is very little chance of getting away to see the movie and I generally enjoy books more anyway. The story definitely had some very sad parts but overall I think it was a beautiful story that anyone who has ever loved a pet can relate too. I also had fun watching Brad try to dodge the flying legos, balls and other various hard things that Elijah has learned to throw lately. I don't think Brad knew what constant danger my life is in now that E has figured out that things fly through the air. The other day E threw a hard plastic ball right at my eye and it bruised a little, thankfully the bruise was gone by morning because I really didn't want to explain how my 15 month old gave me a black eye.

We made it through the holidays and I think we are still intact. We had some major news on Christmas day that was thrilling and sad at the same time. I am going to finally be a biological aunt. I am so happy for my brother and my soon to be sister in law but so sad that he didn't get to tell my Dad. While I am still angry and bitter that Dad never got to meet Elijah I got to tell him that Elijah was coming and feel his excitement and joy over the news. I never thought about how big a deal that really was until I realized that Nick will never have that moment and my heart breaks for him. My Mom is overjoyed at the news but again is so sad that my Dad is missing this. That being said I can't wait to be an aunt and for E to have a cousin close in age to him. Next month my brother will get married and I am so happy for him. I think I am going to go to the 99 cent store and see if I can find some shot guns for the wedding. It is only funny because they have been planning to get married for quite awhile but everything just now fell into place so they could. It just so happens that she got pregnant first.

Ok well now I am rambling and really don't have anything else to say. Hopefully I will be able to feel more of myself again soon and will therefore have something to share here again. I wouldn't hold my breath though if I were you.

Meme stolen shamelessly

2008-09-10T13:18:00.000-07:00

I stole this from tysgirl, yep I am a big thief.

1. My uncle once caught me: throwing a rock through a window. I still believe that it wasn't me though.

2. Never in my life have I been: talked into doing drugs

3. When I was five: I was shy and afraid everyone would find out how stupid I was.

4. High school was: A very long time ago

5. I will never forget: The love my Dad had for me.

6. Once I met: Cuba Gooding Jr. He said I was cute, I will always love him for that.

7. There’s this boy I know: That is napping peacefully in his pack and play

8. Once, at a bar: I gave a guy the name and phone number of a girl I was mad at saying I was her so he would call her house and bug her all the time.

9. By noon: I am ready for a nap and so is the boy.

10. Last night I: rocked the boy and sang to him as he screamed in pain from the molars that are ripping through his gums.

11. If only I had: a big yard that the boy could play in.

12. Next time I go to church: someone is probably getting married.

13. What worries me most is: that I am not making good choices for E.

14. When I turn my head left: I see the kitchen

15. When I turn my head right: I see Elijah now awake and sitting on the couch.

16. You know I’m lying when: I say that I love how everyone else in the free world drives.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties: the carefreeness of being a kid.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare: I would be insane.

19. By this time next year: I will probably be pregnant again.

20. A better name for me would be: bitch

21. I have a hard time: answering this question

22. If I ever go back to school: I would have to really want it.

23. You know I like you if: I tease you shamelessly

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank: all the little people who made this award possible.

25. Take my advice: Live with joy.

Being a Grown Up

2008-08-30T22:15:00.000-07:00

Today we spent the day going to birthday parties for a 1 year old and a 3 year old. We had lots of fun and it was neat to spend the day with lots of friends. Somewhere during the day I realized that I am indeed a grown up. Parties mean a different thing now them they did in the past and it got me thinking of the things in my life that tell me I am indeed a grown up. I thought I would make a list and put it up here.

First though I want to tell a story but I don't know how to fit it in to the rest of the post so it will oddly sit here for now I guess. When Brad and I got back from our honeymoon we stayed at my parents house for a few more days before we returned home. On night my Dad and I were sitting on the patio talking. He asked me what I thought of married life so far. I said "It feels a bit like we are playing house, saying my husband this or that, it just doesn't feel quite real. It all seems too exciting or playful to be real." My Dad looked at me and said something I think I will never forget "Karin a really good marriage will always at times feel like that way, that is how you know it is worth working at." It struck me as so odd that he too still felt like a kid playing make believe that wasn't ready to grow up. I also saw how much he loved my Mom. Anyway I am not really sure how it fits the rest of the post but it is something I was thinking about.

What I know as a grown up I didn't know as a kid:

1. I know what it is to choose love and not just love someone because they are family. I don't think before I met Brad that I really understood what it was to truly love someone for who they are.

2. I know what it is like to lose someone that you love so much that it is like losing apart of yourself. I also know that a time doesn't make you stop missing them.

3. I know what it is to take pride in the accomplishments of someone that isn't me not just be happy for them.

4. Giving is better than receiving. The look on the face of the receiver is way more gratifying than any gift I have ever been given.

5. Words do hurt, often leaving scars much more damaging than sticks or stones could ever cause.

6. To every choice there is a consequence and often the price isn't worth it.

7. It is the small things every day that you really remember and not the big event days that you make such a big deal of.

8. True friends like you for who you are and not what you can do for them.

9. Anything worth having takes work.

10. Liking yourself is more important than people liking you.

11. Driving somewhere pretty is an adventure and doesn't need a destination to be fun.

12. Having a sibling is the best gift to receive, they understand things that no one else will ever comprehend about you.

13. The unconditional love and trust of a child is magical and should not be taken for granted.

14. Seeing a parent in pain is far worse than any pain I have ever felt.

15. Someone knowing what is important to you and fighting for it for you, without you ever saying a word, will take your breath away.

16. Laying in bed together as a family in the morning having tickle fights is often the best part of the day.

17. Every day starts new and you have a chance to do everything better than you did before.

18. Sometimes the right choice hurts to much to face right now.

19. Relationships take a lot of nurturing to survive. If you don't take care of them they fade away.

20.I was and am very lucky to have the family I had and now to have the family I have made.

Accomplishments

2008-08-24T22:27:00.000-07:00

So this weekend Elijah worked very hard to do this. It won't be long until I am chasing this boy all around.

Now so you don't think this came without a lot of failure we have a Montage of falls that occurred inbetween successes.

This is a light hearted fun post. Stay tuned for later in the week for a rant about past events that have come back to the light. Shouldn't say any more until things flush out a bit more. Don't worry though we are doing great.

Screw you NBC and Yahoo

2008-08-16T22:11:00.001-07:00

Screw you NBC and Yahoo
Originally uploaded by kareeyore.

A big up yours is going out to NBC for their "Live" coverage of the Olympics. I turn on my computer to check my email while I watch the Olympics and every night through no fault of my own I am told the results of the big events of the Olympics. This would be one thing if NBC admitted to those of us on the West Coast that the coverage was not live but they don't. Continuously they say Live how is that possible if yahoo already has the results. Further I see no reason for the coverage to not be live here. I don't enjoy staying up until all hours of the night for events that could have and should have aired 3 hours earlier.

Anyway it is now 10:06pm PST and they are just now going to the swimming events that they are showing us "LIVE" So anyway SCREW YOU NBC I HOPE YOU GET A FLAMING CASE OF JOCK ITCH!

Now Yahoo SCREW YOU TOO you have no business posting the results before it airs nation wide.

(OK I shall get of my soapbox now)

Heavy hearted

2008-07-18T22:20:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if the news I received today would have hit me as hard before I had Elijah but I know that now as a parent this completely broke my heart. There is a little boy who lives in our complex that we have known for years. Our neighbors before they move away son was this boys best friend. This boy was often behind our house and around so we knew him pretty well. He was a bit of a wild child and trouble seemed to follow him although he had a good heart and tried to do the right things. He just wasn't supervised well and was often left on his own. One Halloween he came to our door with his hand bandaged because he had tried to make himself a milk shake and lost several fingers on the blades of the blender. He was a happy kid though and from what we could tell his parents loved him wholly and were doing the best they knew how. I don't know how else to describe it other than that. Earlier this month the boys father took him on a road trip. The boy was asleep in the backseat and the father was driving and apparently fell asleep at the wheel and got in an accident and overturned the car. The little boy only 11 years old died instantly.

This poor little boy never really had a chance to live. I have been thinking about the choices we make in our lives and how they effect us. I am sure all of us at one time or another have driven when we were a little too tired just to make it a little further or to arrive a little earlier. Maybe we couldn't afford a hotel room, or maybe we were almost home, whatever the reason we continue to drive and never think about what could happen. I am sure that this father will for the rest of his life regret not stopping and resting. He can never undue that decision and has to live forever with a stupid choice he made. I am writing this here to hopefully remind everyone to think carefully about the decisions you make especially ones that put others at risk. A hotel room is a lot cheaper than a funeral.

Even though this was just a kid in the neighborhood that we knew and not one that we were very close too, I am so sad by this. I guess it is always sad when a child dies but when you know them it is so much worse.

How Mac won my heart forever

2008-07-12T21:46:00.000-07:00

Last night as I was playing with my computer it froze up and then died. It would only get a white screen and I knew that wasn't good. So we made an appointment at a Apple store today and went to see what was wrong. It was probably one of the worse things that can happen to a computer complete hard drive failure. So they would have to replace the hard drive. Now normally this news would have reduced me to tears, all the pictures I have taken of E are solely on this computer, but you see this computer is backed up. Apple in their wisdom created a thing called time capsule that would back up your hard drive every day as long as it is hooked to an external hard drive. They make this even easier by selling a wireless router with a hard drive called the airport extreme time capsule. We have this so my computer is completely backed up. So they changed out the hard drive and we came home with my lap top. Brad hooked it up to the time capsule and two hours later my lap top was handed back to me as if nothing ever had happened. Even the wallpaper was how I left it. When I came to sign in here it had even replaced my cookies. What a relief to not have to remember all my sites and passwords and try to get everything back. While it sucks that my hard drive crashed it was all covered under warranty and so all this experience cost us was 5 bucks for parking near the Apple store. After this I have decided I will never go back to a pc again, it just isn't nearly as easy.

Stuff and other Stuff

2008-05-29T10:12:00.001-07:00

Do you ever think I should post something but can't think of anything to post. So when that is how you feel how do you title the post? Today E is 8 months old. I can't believe how fast he is growing up. He is crawling all over the place and he pulls himself up to stand, well sort of he really only does that if he can pull on me, but he is still doing it on his own. If you happen to go by his website there is a new video of him on his little scooter. He is such a little cutie, not that I am biased at all.

Tonight Brad and I are going to the premiere of Kung Fu Panda at Mann's Chinese Theatre. I am excited to get to go and see the movie without the baby with us. I am not sure if the stars will be there or not but it is still a big deal. This is one of the perks Brad gets working for Dreamw*rks now. He didn't work on the movie but he is working on some future movies. He is very excited to show E movies he worked on that E will love. Brad brought home a Po doll and E is in love with it and drags it all around the room. Anyway if I see Brangelina I will post all about it tomorrow.

Because we have sort of baby proofed the living room the cat's are having problems. We put a gate up to keep E from falling down the stairs that we close when he is up and playing. The problem is the cat's won't jump over it to get to the other side where the litter box is. We forgot to open the gate back up the other night and so Z pooped in the middle of the floor in Brad's bathroom and peed on the floor of my bathroom. We cleaned it up and then yesterday during the day she pooped in Brad's bathroom again. If this happens again I will have to shut her in the basement during the day while E is up playing because we are not turning upstairs into a giant litter box. Nor do we want E to be the one to find one of Z's little presents. Let me be clear though both cat's can jump over the gate and crawl under the gate just won't do it. I don't know why.

It is pool season so here is some pool pictures of the boy. I got a waterproof case for the camera so hopefully we will get some cute underwater pictures soon.

Two Years Ago...

2008-05-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

I married my best friend. We have packed a lot into these two years and everyday I know I love him a little more. I feel so lucky to have married a man who is so perfect for me. I can't imagine getting through this last year without him and his support. Two years ago today our marriage began and I think now that it was a very symbolic beginning. You see we had planned an outdoor wedding at my parents house and well when the wedding was scheduled to start it was not just raining it was a down pour with thunder and lightening. We ended up moving the ceremony into the house in the family room on the stairs between the kitchen and family room and had guest on all sides of us. It wasn't what I dreamed of when I pictured my wedding but it was still wonderful. Now I realize that it is how marriage is, you will never be living the perfect dream but with some work and flexibility it can still be wonderful. When the wedding was over and it was time for the reception we decided to just go for it and we headed outside. By then the major part of the storm had passed and it had minor showers for the rest of the night. We danced, ate, drank and had the time of our lives. It was something unpredictable but in the end it was right. Thanks Greenday for providing the perfect song to fit the day!

Proud to Be Californian

2008-05-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

So today the California Supreme Court reversed the ban on gay marriage. This is kind of confusing as it doesn't make gay marriage legal but it is heading that way. While we already have domestic partnerships here it is still not the same as legalized marriage. It is still so strange that people are fighting against this saying it belittles the sanctity of marriage. I don't get it to me they uphold it. The 50% plus divorce rate is what is ruining the sanctity. I don't want this to be to political or a place for religious debates but to me I am proud to be from a state that as a whole is taking a giant step forward. I look forward to a future when my friends and neighbors are afforded the same rights and privileges that I have always had. Ok I am jumping off my soapbox now I don't want to get a nosebleed.

The Yucks

2008-05-06T21:36:00.000-07:00

My Beautiful baby boy has the Yucks.

He is coughing and coughing and sneezing and he can't sleep. He wants to cuddle with Mommy nonstop but then wants to wiggle and play at the same time. I hate seeing him not feel well. I know that this is only a minor thing but still I hate that there is nothing I can do for him. Besides that I am exhausted from getting no break from him all day.

We are back from Napa and our trip went well. We are in the process of scanning all the slides my Dad took of us growing up. Most of the pictures my Dad took when we were little were on slides and because of this I have never seen most of them. It was really neat to see old pictures and remember my childhood. Anyway here are a couple of pictures of me from my childhood. If you look at them you will maybe understand me a little more. The one of me at three is pretty much exactly how I was growing up.

Anniversary

2008-05-02T09:44:00.000-07:00

So I am a little bit MIA right now. Please bear with me as this is a very hard week for my family. It was a year ago today that I experienced the worst day of my life. It has been the longest year of my life and the shortest at the same time. I am in Napa now spending the day with family. I am sure the weekend will be spent with booze and dominoes and probably disparaging remarks about our heritage will be made. So pardon my absence I shall return in a couple of days.

Right Turn Ahead

2008-04-21T16:02:00.000-07:00

This weekend we went to the Poppy Preserve in Lancaster CA to see the wild golden poppies. Now in my minds eye I thought there would be a plethora of of poppies and it would be beautiful but nothing truly prepared me for the sight. We loaded up the car and packed all the camera gear into the back of the car went and got raped at the gas station. Brad programmed the address into the gps and we had her (gypsy) tell us where to go. Now we often refer to days like this as going on a photo safari but it has never really been much of a safari before. We got off the freeway and headed up the small road to the poppy reserve. As we got closer we started to see splashes of color along the road and grew excited. Then we got to an old rusty farm and we had to stop and take pictures but it was mutually decided that we would continue on and see the reserve and then stop at the farm on the way home. So we continued up the hill. We were now at breath taking gold fields and sure enough Gypsy told us to turn right. Now this was a narrow barely paved road that looked ominous. There was old discarded furniture and Lord knows what else along the side of the road. I asked Brad if I should continue on the road because it just seemed wrong. He showed me that we were in the green area of the reserve according to Gypsy and this is where she told us to drive. so onward I drove thankful for my little SUV. Within minutes the paved road ended and we were on a quarry of dirt roads. We were driving right through the middle of the poppies (on dirt roads) and the view was incredible.

Brad was so excited that we were really off roading our SUV but still we were searching for the entrance to the preserve. We finally got right up to the area that is the preserve and realized that we would have to go back to the main road and go down a bit more to get to the real entrance. We got there and parked and started out to get the boy his midday meal. We fed the boy and had him bundled up tight and started to push the stroller to the trails. It was so cold and windy though that it was really uncomfortable and I began to worry that it wasn't safe for the baby. We both decided that perhaps hiking the trails wasn't the best plan. So we loaded back into the car and moved all the camera equipment to the front seat with Brad and went back to the dirt roads to continue our safari. We drove up the hill as far as we could and would stop from time to time for pictures. I had to get at least one picture of Elijah in the middle of the poppy fields so I got him out of the car and woke him up and sat him in the poppies. He didn't enjoy that part of the day as much as we did.

So we finished up and headed down the hill. We stopped at the farm and got some great pictures. We took turns going in to take pictures while the other stayed in the car with the boy. I went first and so when I came back I took pictures of Brad taking pictures from the drivers seat.

SO we finished the day off driving through the back roads back to civilization and had dinner at Claim Jumper. It was a great day and we hope that we will make it a tradition that E and whoever else comes along will enjoy as part of their childhood. I know that I look back on the adventures like this my parents drag us on (sometimes while we screamed, pouted, and fought in the backseat of the car) as some of my favorite memories and I hope that we can create that for our family. I hope that they find the adventure in the little things and are able to always see the beauty. Most of all I hope they learn that sometimes the adventure is all in the getting there.

Things that make you say Duh

2008-04-18T09:09:00.000-07:00

The other day while surfing the net I glanced at what was at that moment the top news story. The story was that scientists have predicted that there will be a big earthquake in California. Now being a Californian this is something I am always aware of and if we can now predict them it will help our sanity a lot. So I click on the article only to find that they say we are going to have a 6 or higher earthquake in the next 30 years they are 99.97% sure. Really I am 35 years old and there have been at least 3 earthquakes that are above that I remember so telling me some time in the next 30 years there will be another really isn't shocker. Please don't bother me with this nonsense until you can give me more precise details.

My mom has made it home from her European trip. She had a great time and is probably still sitting at her computer sifting through photos of her adventures. Hell I may even have to set her up on flickr so she can share some of these pictures.

Lastly I am going to do a shameless product plug for no apparent reason. We have a Ceiva picture frame and love love love it. It is a digital picture frame that can be updated over the internet. It uses a dial up connection to download pictures and add it to your frame. No computer knowledge is needed. We have them for Brad's grandma and grandpa both in nursing homes. They love that they get new pictures of the baby from across the country daily (or whenever we send them) Anyway the frames have become so popular in our family that everyone has one except my oldest brother. My Mom every time I talk to her comments on the frame and then says "I need to get one for A" Anyway I have no affiliation with the company nor am I receiving anything for saying this but if you have people that are nagging that they want pictures this is a great way to always have fresh pictures displayed.

The Dope and the Pope

2008-04-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

So I was trying to watch the news yesterday and it was being interrupted by the Pope celebration at the white house. At the end of the Pope's Speech the President stood and turned to the Pope and said "stay here there will be one more song" The tone in which the president said it seemed some what condescending, like you are talking to a senile old fool. Then they both sat in the chairs and waited for the song. There was a long pause of weird silence while the song did not in fact start. I started to giggle look yet again it is Our Dope with their Pope. The song did eventually start but I couldn't help but wonder if the choir was scrambling to sing something anything there because they weren't suppose to sing something but the President said there was a song so they had to sing something. Then the more I sat there the madder I started to get. How much of our tax dollars were going to pay for this religious leader to be in our country and visit our leaders. Excuse me but don't we have a separation of church and state. Do we roll out the carpet and allow all other religious leaders private counsel with the Dope, no. I have never seen such elaborate ceremony for a world leader either so arguing that he runs a nation doesn't hold water with me either. I am sorry but we are at war and our dollar is very weak we do not have the extra money to be carelessly tossing at a religious group. I am sorry but any other religion that wants to have their leader come to the US or their state or wherever is responsible to foot the bill of what that will cost. Including travel and security. It just rubs my nerves to see this visit and think about the money we are wasting.

Changes are going on!

2008-04-14T23:12:00.000-07:00

Ok I only have a minute because I really should be going to bed but if you notice my blog has gone through a bit a a face lift tonight. I have updated my links and added some features like a new slideshow. I hope that I have linked all the regulars that still come around these parts and have a site to link to. If I missed you drop me a comment and I will add you post haste. I had been extremely lazy and everything around here was grossly out of date so I hope this more accurately represents me now. Well it is bed time so I need to go. I will try to fit a post into my schedule tomorrow but I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you.

My weekend in Pictures

2008-04-12T23:38:00.000-07:00

We were going to go to a chocolate expo today at the Queen Mary as my birthday weekend day of fun. It was a great plan but then last night they cancelled the event? What were we to do, you can't promise a birthday girl a day of chocolate and then take it back wars have started over less. So Brad came up with a plan, he would create a special day of chocolate just for me. So we loaded up the boy.

And headed out the door. we went to visit this friendly little man:

and ordered this:

Yummy. Practically heaven. Then we were leaving there and we had a minor mishap with a bad parker. He sraped the whole rear side of my car with his car. No big deal really though there was no body damage and a simple paint job should fix it all up. So we continued on our way to the first shop.

They had a coffee vodka chocolate that could get you drunk in no time. We bought some chocolate covered pomegrante from here and again were on our way. We then walked to the next spot which was ok but not really noteworthy. So we got back in the car and tried to go to the next place. There was no parking and after a couple of attempts we decided that we could skip them. So downtown we went. We found these:

The most unique flavors were a korean garlic truffle that Brad tried and a basil dark chocolate truffle that we both tried. They were surprisingly good and we left there happy on chocolately bliss. We also learned that these chocolates are sold at a wine bar in our little downtown area just a couple of blocks from home. By now we were over due for lunch and the boy needed to be fed and I needed something a little healthier. We stopped at California Chicken Cafe and had salads while the boy nursed and then dined on sweet potatoes, and then a prune apple combo. It sounds gross to me but he liked it so we will leave it alone. We got back on the road and headed to the next place where we found this:

This was probably our favorite over all chocolate place of the day. They had unique flavor combos and were very friendly. Our favorite was a Sea salt honey peanut butter chocolate truffle. Yummy! We ended up ordering chocolate covered matzah from them that I will pick up Friday and try to resist trying everything in the store while I am there. We then got in the car and went to one more chocolate place before heading home tired and chocolatey. The place was ok but not quite up to the caliber of the other places we went to though out the day. Brad and I thought we were tired but apparently our adventure tuckered the boy out as well. He nursed and then played for a little but then whined for a nap. I layed him down in his pack and play and he went off to dream land. I expected him to wake up by 8 to have his last nursing and solid foods of the day. At 9:30 I decided to wake him up. I looked in at the pack in play and he looked as if he had been on a bender. We did take pictures but they are still on the camera. I picked him up and he pouted and fought to stay asleep with all his might but eventually he woke up and we were able to feed him. We gave him his dinner and let him play so hopefully he got retired enough to sleep through the night. Only time will tell. All in all it was a great adventure and we had a lot of chocolate.

******all pictures in this post are courtesy of Brad Herman, I did not shoot even one of them so should not be given any artistic credit. I will take credit for boy cuteness though as I did create him. ******

Another Year Older

2008-04-10T17:56:00.000-07:00

Today is my 35th birthday. I am feeling old. Not because I am bothered by a number on the calendar but because the day was or is so unremarkable. I remember days gone by when the day was so exciting and held so much promise but today was just whatever. So anyway I figured as long as I am here throwing a whatever party I would make a list of things that are irritating because as my husband will tell you I live to criticize others.

*If you are only planning to drive the speed limit or less why are you taking up space in the carpool lane?

*Do not slow to a near stop to merge onto the freeway, merge at freeway speeds or else you are risking your life and the lives of the cars behind you that have to slow to your speed.

*If there is no stop sign when you enter the parking lot but the other 3 sides have one, you have the right of way so use it.

*When I am out in public with the boy and he is asleep it is not the time to continue to peer in or touch him or talk to him. If he is asleep in public it is a rare thing and if you wake him I am likely to punch you.

*If you call a house and hear a baby crying or screaming it is probably a bad time, when they tell you specifically it is a bad time hang up they aren't listening to you anymore anyway.

*Stop telling me about celebs in trouble I don't care.

*Stop asking if I would like help to my car with the groceries, seriously if I can't make it to the car with the cart you already supplied me how an I going to get the groceries to the house from the car?

Ok I could go on but I really should wake up the boy and feed him before it is too late. See ya!

Always Something There to Remind Me

2008-04-02T16:27:00.000-07:00

Parenthood

We went to a new Dr. on Monday and had Elijah's 6 month check up. What a world of difference this Dr. made. He made me at ease with the slow rate that E is gaining weight. He said that E is following a curve and that as long as he continues to gain along that curve we shouldn't worry. He said he would worry more about gaining too much weight to fast which is what I had been saying. Anyway the whole thing brought an interesting revelation to me. There are so many decisions you have to make about your child before you ever meet them and know what decision you should be making. It is kind of like studying for an anatomy test with chemistry notes, it is all still science but not the science you need to help you with the subject you need, no matter how good those notes are. I mean I did all the research on how to get a Dr and what questions to ask and for all that research the original Dr seemed ideal. We could not have scripted a better text book example of Dr offices and yet they were so wrong for us. The new Dr would have failed our test via research and so we would not have considered them but at the end of the day they listened to me and treated us like humans not cogs on a conveyer belt. The problem with this is that a lot of Doctors will only take babies at birth and then after that moment they don't take transfers. Now I think this is stupid and dangerous, come on you can't decide on the right Dr. for the next 18 years before you have met the kid that will be their patient. Anyway it isn't just that there are so many decisions you have to make before you ever have a kid and often you don't have all the information to make that decision at the time. A chase in point here is strollers, it seemed so simple you buy a car seat and then you buy a stroller from the same company so they click together. Which is fine in theory but then you think that is the way it has to be done but chances are that might not be the way you should go. What are you going to do with the stroller? Are you taking a stroller fitness class? Are you going to have more than 1 kid. The next thing you know you have several different strollers and you are switching them out depending on your days events. Really for me the stroller from the car seat company wasn't the right choice but I didn't know that then. All in all I feel like parenthood has made me revert back to that scared 5 year old that was too afraid to talk in class and prove how stupid I really am. I thought I had conquered those demons after I was held back in Kindergarten but here they are right in my face almost 30 years later. I swear I have never felt this small and insecure about every choice I make since I was that shaky first time kindergartener. So I can only hope that when Brad and I have a second I can feel the surge of confidence I had the second time I started Kindergarten. I knew I had been there before and that I knew things I didn't know the first time and a lot more than the other kid's in my class. Some how I doubt it, I think each kid will bring around different situations that make you feel small and scared and incapable. I think now that confident parents are either liars or are to naive to know that they should be scared. I am betting though that under it all we all feel like we are still playing at house and hoping that somehow everything will work out in the end. There are no right answers only thing I can do is try to make the best choices with whatever facts I have at the time even if that means throwing out all the research and advice that I have been given.

Blogiversary

2008-02-13T22:37:00.000-08:00

So today was or is the third anniversary of starting this blog. It is funny to think of how different things are now then they were when I started this. It all started because Brad blogged and he pressured me into starting one too. I really thought it was something I would do a few times and drop it like it never happened. Now three years have past and I am still blogging and Brad isn't. I frequently make statements like my blog friend did this or did that. It is really strange how people you have never met become part of your family and are there for you through all kinds of lives trials. You have all been so good to me for the last 3 years and I can't imagine how I would have made it through the last year especially without you. Thank you all, I love you more than chocolate which is saying a lot.

Elijah still has not gained any weight. I made the Dr. do blood work and we will hopefully have some answers as to why he is not putting on any weight. She wants me to add formula to his diet but will not explain to me why formula would be better than my milk that has more calories. (I know this because I went out and had my milk tested) I have done research online and though she doesn't want me to start 1st foods until he is 6 months old other Dr.s say as early as 4 months. I feel more comfortable with giving him food to supplement so that is the route I am planning to go until a time she can show me that my milk is what is causing the problem. E loved the bananas today and so we will keep up with that for now. I am so frustrated with this right now so I need all of your good thoughts that E will start to gain weight at a reasonable rate and that nothing is seriously wrong.

Ok it is late and I need to get some sleep. I will be back as soon as I get the results from his blood work. I am not sure what I am hoping the answer is but I would really like an answer. I know he is happy and developmentally fine he is just skinny. He did grow 1/2 an inch since his last appointment so I guess that is something. But damn if I see 11 pounds 7 ounces one more time I am going to scream!

PSA's

2008-02-04T16:14:00.000-08:00

I come today to perhaps save your life from an attack. You see as new parents of what I think is an adorable baby we worry about his safety. Now I think that I am actually a lot less paranoid then most new parents but there are lines that have to be drawn. I know my baby is very cute but that doesn't mean that you as a perfect stranger to me have permission to touch him, especially his hands, that he will be sticking in his mouth. Just don't do it it is never ok and will make me the parent very uncomfortable. Now if you are as bold as the person we ran into at dinner the other night you may get an ass kicking the likes of which you have never see before. Granted the boy was fussy and was ready to go home but what happened was just wrong. We were outside on the heated patio having dinner and I had the boy in the car seat in the stroller next to me. I turned for a second to take a bite of my dinner, when a women came up to the stroller and grabbed one of the boys toys and shook it at him and told him to stop fussing. She then dropped the toy and wandered off with out ever saying anything to me. Never ever reach into some ones stroller especially if they aren't looking at you to see you coming. My Mama bear instincts kicked in and I wanted to slap the lady. I quickly calmed them down but Brad was out of his seat and I had to grab him and force him back down. While I am not paranoid the simple fact is this women didn't know us and we didn't know her and it was not ok to touch my son or his things. He is in an oral phase and so we are careful with what he comes in contact with as germs spread very quickly when put in his mouth. Just as you shouldn't approach a persons dog without asking them first, a child deserve more care. Next time lady If you do that I will let my husband off the leash and allow him to rip you a new one.

On a different note I bring you the next PSA. If you go to Costco to buy a 50 inch flat panel tv take a car that can fit it. I can not tell you how entertaining it was for me to watch these two blond idiots try to get this tv into a little Honda Civic coup, not even the hatch back. It was never going to fit in the first place but in the second they had boxes of stuff in the car leaving little room anyway. Even funnier is if they were buying it today for the Superbowl, not sure if this was the case but still made me laugh. I will admit that Brad and I have on occasion tested the capacity of our vehicles but never have we that grossly over estimated the size of our cars.

So now that I may have saved you I will talk about my play group. It actually went very well and I was pleased with it. As it turns out one of the ladies grew up in the same town as me and her Mom still lives there as well. She graduated 2 years before me from the private high school. It was one of those what a small world moments. E was the oldest in the group but he didn't miss a chance to flirt with everyone else in the class. It was so cute as he tried to touch one of the other babies and stick his fingers in her mouth. He wore himself out though so now he is napping in his pack and play. I should get going though as I have other things I should be doing.

How a Toothbrush Saved my Life

2008-02-01T16:29:00.000-08:00

So E fights going to sleep like a champ. He gets so tired but he doesn't want to miss anything. I guess this is something I have caused as I have a hard time turning of my brain and going to sleep without some sort of distraction. Well car rides and sometimes bed times can be very difficult when someone is so tired but won't go to sleep. A couple of weeks ago I read someone say that they put a cheap electric toothbrush in their carseat and it calms the baby. It just so happened that we had one in the house that my Mom uses when she stays with us. So I went and tried it to see if there was something there. It was like a gift from heaven! He is so calm in the car now, and when he gets really fussy at home we put the toothbrush in his crib and he calms right down. I now always have a toothbrush with me just in case. People will stop me and ask what that whirring is. I respond simply "his toothbrush" and leave it at that. I know people must think I am crazy, but on the contrary because of the toothbrush I am sane. So anyway if you walk by a women with a baby in a carseat buzzing just smile and think ahh she is keeping her sanity.

The other day E and I went out for a walk. We walked across the street and started down the sidewalk when we heard a crash behind us. I immediately turned to see what had happened. A women had crashed her car into the median so hard that she set off her airbags. I asked if she was ok and she got out of the car and said she needed help. She lifted her hand up and I could tell it was broken. I called for an ambulance and 2 other pedestrians helped her from the middle of the road to the sidewalk where I was. This street is probably the busiest street in Southern California so there were plenty of people around. Not one car stopped to help this lady. It is really strange to me because Brad and I are always so willing to help that others can not be bothered. I think it is a sad commentary of our times.

Our very good friends gave birth to a daughter Wednesday night. We have been teasing that she is E's girlfriend. We went to visit her at the hospital and E brought her a toy flower. It was very cute. The baby is so tiny born at a little over 6 pounds. We never knew E when he was that little so it was strange to see how tiny she is. I held her for a little bit and it was quite odd to hold half of E. They are coming home from the hospital today so we might be going over tonight to help them get dinner and adjust. I went by this morning and brought a care package for their dog as well as a sympathy card to her from our cats. They did the same for us when we came home. The poor dog is so thrown for a loop. SHe doesn't get what is going on and she just stood there with her tail between her legs. I never really thought about how hard this transition really is for pets but Zacchy is really only gotten back to herself in the last month. She still keeps a wide berth from E. It will be interesting to see what she does when E gets mobile and chases her tail. Anyway I hope that their dog does ok when they come home as her whole world has just changed. It has been a little chaotic for them because they followed Jewish superstition and did not set up the nursery until the baby was born. So her humans have been gone and people have brought all this stuff into her house. Poor girl.

On Monday I am going to my first play group. We will see how it goes. I am nervous about fitting in with a bunch of strangers. It is a group with children under 6 months so hopefully it will work out and we will have some socialization. It is always a bit strange meeting new people here in Los Angeles because sometimes it is full of very superficial people. I am so not the typical L.A. person. Anyway I will have to post later how it went. I am sure much like our prepared childbirth class* I will do something to completely embarrass myself.

*I don't think this class did much to prepare me for the childbirth I had

First 4 months

2008-01-30T15:08:00.001-08:00

First 4 months
Originally uploaded by kareeyore.

So today I went to the doctor for Elijah's 4 month appointment. He has grow an inch and his head has grown but he weighs the exact same as he did at his 2 month appointment. I am so frustrated! I know he is eating and that he isn't fussy between meals so I don't know what else I should do. The Dr. suggested supplimenting with formula. I don't want to do that, we have fought too long and too hard to screw it up with formula. I would rather give him cereal but she wants me to wait until he is 6 months. I feel so torn, in my heart I think she is wrong and that formula is a bad idea for him. He is so healthy and hasn't even had a cold. He rolls from back to belly and belly to back and has for a month which is very advanced. He has strong legs and good muscles. The only thing they can say about him is he is small. Should I really be trying to get him to gain weight solely for the purpose of gaining weight when in all other aspects he is beyond great? The other thing is when I was a baby they kept a watch on me for not gaining enough weight and Brad's Mom said she went through the same thing as Brad. They fussed and fussed about our slow weight gain and now both of us now struggle with obesity. If that is the case would it be better to not force the issue and let him gain weight as he sees fit?

I have been thinking things over and I am really tired of taking the hard road on everything. Just once I would love to just have things go as they should. They say the universe gives you things to teach you. Man haven't I learned this lesson already? I know this may not make a lot of sense to some people reading this but it seems like nothing ever goes how I intend. Yes a lot of times the way it does go is fine but still I would love for something to go right.

The Expert

2008-01-23T11:07:00.000-08:00

I think we have all met someone at one time or another that is a complete expert in everything and always seems to have an answer or experienced what ever it is you are going through. We all also know that these people are soo annoying and have probably swore to ourselves that we would never be that person. I have found that the worse offenders are parents, and they think there way is the best way and look down their noses at others that think differently than them. I fear I am indeed becoming one of those people.

You see I went through a lot to breast feed E, and it would have a lot easier to just give him formula. I fought from the beginning that he would only receive my breast milk and I was surprised to find that I would have to fight even at the hospital. While all that we went through is a long story and really not the point here, it is the reason for my expertise. You see I have been going to a breast feeding support group since E was about 3 weeks old. Next week he will be 4 months old and we will graduate the group. Yesterday I went to say good by and to thank the lactation consultant for all her help through the last 4 months. Well she had jury duty and wasn't there and so another girl filled in to answer questions but she was not an expert. I found myself answering everyones questions and being the expert of the class. A sense of I have already conquered that came over me and I through out advice fast and furious. I guess I may have been obnoxious to others, or what I said could have been truly perceived as helpful. I don't know, I guess the question is do you know when you have crossed the line?

Today Brad called me and it seems that the wife of one of his coworkers, who just had a baby, is experiencing a lot of the same troubles as I did with the hospital and breast feeding. He gave them my number to call and talk to me so she has someone who has been there to help her to the other side. For her though it is worse than it was for me because they did force her to give her baby formula and it is now further complicating the issue. I want to be there to help but I also don't want to go to far. I hate how doctors don't support and help new mothers to breast feed when study after study shows that it is the best for the baby. Now I don't mean this as anything against people who choose not to breast feed but only that medical professionals should not try to force formula on people who want to try breast feeding. So because of this I have become very judgemental. I guess my fear is that I will come off as an ass if she ends the fight to breast feed.

Ahh gotta go someone is done with his nap.

Calgon Take Me Away

2008-01-16T15:35:00.000-08:00

I am beat. Brad has come down with a super bug and is quarantined from me and the baby. That means it is me and E 24 hours a day and no time off for good behavior. Brad usually does the night routine and gets him to sleep for the night. For some reason when Brad puts him to bed he will sleep through the night but if I put him to bed he will wake up every 45 minutes. Needless to say it was a long night for me. Brad still has a fever today and will be contagious until at least tomorrow. I am only on the computer now while I have a few minutes with E napping. I don't dare try to do any of the other million chores I need to get done because as soon as I get busy with something E wakes up and demands me. Brad's parents came to town yesterday and will be here for a month. Since Brad is so contagious they can't come to the house so I am going to their hotel this evening to spend time with them and them with the baby. Please pray though that I have not already been exposed to whatever it is that Brad has because a Mom doesn't get the day off.

E is getting big and is learning fast. Don't forget to check out his site for regular updates and pictures of him. This blog isn't about him it is about me so I am trying to keep them kinda separate. However I don't have much to say so I guess that is why I haven't been posting here. Well I do have things I say I am going to post but by the time I have time to I have forgotten. So think of something brilliant and insightful and tell yourself that was what Karin was blogging about. Got to go the boss is waking.

If I had balls they would have been kicked

2007-12-15T21:40:00.000-08:00

You ever just have a week where it feels like you are being kicked over and over again? We began our week flying across the country with the baby and trying to get back into our normal routine. It all seemed innocent enough, we had a good trip visiting with family and the baby did well with the flights and the upheaval to our routine. I was tired though and had a cold from our travels that left me a little cranky if not a lot snotty. Wednesday morning I got up early and jumped into the shower before Brad would get up for work. The water didn't seem to be getting hot enough and so I spent my time trying to get the water to just the right temp. I still don't know what was up with that but it would lead to further confusion on my part as the morning unfolded. I finished my shower and came to the room to get dressed. I told Brad about the water and was just about to get dressed when the doorbell rang. It was a little before 8 am so I could not think who would be at our door. Brad jumped out of bed and went to see who it was, still in his underwear. It was the maintenance man for our complex asking if our downstairs was flooding. Brad ran to see and I still in my towel ran to throw him shorts. I ran back upstairs and got dressed and then went to see what was happening. Sure enough our downstairs was covered in water. The main line had backed up and overflowed into our building. since we had carpet in our bonus room we had to move all the furniture out into the garage so the carpet could dry out. This meant that our cars would have to be parked in the outside complex parking. The plan from there was to pull up the carpet and install something easier to mop up and then reload everything into the bonus room this weekend. This morning we left at 10 to go to Linoleum City and pick out a new floor. We got to the car and I saw glass all over the ground. With horror I looked up at the rear drivers side window and saw it was no longer there, shit shit shit shit! Glass was everywhere. My brand new GPS that Brad gave me last week for Hanukkah was gone as was the XM radio Brad gave me last year for Hanukkah were gone. This is the moment I lost it and began to cry at the side of my car. Man do I not need this right now. Thankfully the garage door opener was not taken as that would give them access to our whole house. They also left all the Babies gear which I actually would have been way more pissed if they took them the electronics. We then spent our whole day driving 70 miles each way to the only dealership in Southern California that had the window in stock. We came home and reassembled the office in our bonus room. We got everything in and our cars are now once again parked in the safety of our garage. We are both exhausted and cranky. Hopefully tomorrow we will get through the day with no more drama.

In good news for my day the 49ers finally won a game today. At least they are better than the Dolphins.

Halloween

2007-11-05T10:23:00.000-08:00

So here is a picture teaser of our Halloween. We have found that it is a lot of fun to dress up our son in costumes. I believe in total Elijah ended up with 7 costumes. I found this one at the Children's Place on clearance for 5 bucks. We decided that the picture value alone was worth the price. So keep on the lookout for more pictures of various costumes on Elijah's site.

We have had my Mom here helping us out until Friday the 26th of October. Then on saturday the 27th Susan came for a week to help us out and see the baby. So this is the first time that it has been just me and Brad here since before Elijah was born. It was so nice to have so much help but I am really excited to start getting on a normal schedule. Right now he is napping peacefully in his pack and play and I am taking the time to catch up on the internet. I think I am adjusting to being a Mom and getting used to the hours that this job requires. We are working on getting him to sleep without us holding him, it seems to work if we get him soundly asleep before we put him down. But I think it will be awhile before he will go to sleep on his own. Oh well there are worse things then snuggling a baby.

After he wakes up I plan to nurse him and then load him up in the stroller. I want to try to go walking with him everyday. I think that he is good motivation to exercise and by pushing the stroller I feel like I am not alone. Friday I go back to the Dr. for my 6 week checkup. I can't believe that a lot of Mom's would be looking at returning to work in a week, I can't imagine having to put my little man in daycare already. I feel like he is still just fresh out of the womb, and he needs me so much and I need to be the Mom still. I feel so blessed that I don't have to tear myself in two and send him to daycare. I am so lucky that we can afford for me to be a stay at home Mom. Elijah is just starting to smile and I would hate that he was giving them all to someone on else I don't even know.

Ok I think I am just rambling now. I hope to be around a little more now as things settle into a pattern. See you all soon.

Motherhood

2007-10-15T07:41:00.000-07:00

I know I have been away too long and some of you are waiting for updates on the birth of my little man. For the most part this blog will be about me and my thoughts and tales of Elijah will be kept on his web site www.elijahherman.com. But since you all waiting so patiently for news from me I will post about his birth and some of the joys of motherhood. I guess the first thing is it is amazing to me how quickly you change when you become a parent. My first waking thought is of him and wondering if he is ok, do I need to wake him up to eat. I am no longer the person I was before, I am a Mom and that changes everything. I now understand a little more why women suffer from post partum depression, a lot changes the instant you give birth and I can see how that would be completely overwhelming to some. I am not saying this to imply that I am suffering from it because I am doing really well but to say I get it now in a way I never could before becoming a parent. Some parts of being a Mom have been completely wonderful, when I hold him and he looks up at me and I can see the love and trust in his eyes. Or when he snuggles in and sleeps on my shoulder.

The birth went nothing like we planned and I am starting to think that is just par for the course for us. When I last posted I thought I had lost my mucus plug but in fact I had a slow leak in my water, so when we went to the Dr. they sent us straight to the hospital. At the hospital they did several things to try to get me dialated and contracting. For 34 hours they tried to get me into normal labor and it just didn't happen. So I went in and had a c-section. It was amazing how quickly they took me back for the surgery when we said ok let's do it. I guess they didn't want me to change my mind. Anyway I was whisked backed and in a few minutes I heard my little man cry for the first time. He seemed none to happy about being pulled out of me and displayed his discontent by peeing all over the surgeon who was pulling him out. At the same time he was pooping. Brad then watched as they warmed him up and did whatever it is that they do at birth. I was shaking uncontrollably and was in no condition to hold him then so Brad and he went to the nursery while I was stapled up and sent to recovery. About an hour later Brad and the baby came to recovery and the nurses attached him on to breast feed for the first time. He fed and then was taken back away while I continued to come off the epi. I was then taken to our room and Brad and the baby met me there. Again a nurse was there and helped attach elijah on to my breasts. He nursed for a few minutes and then turned blue for a minute. The nurse grabbed him and ran him back to the nursery. From that point on he remained in the nursery and was brought to me every few hours to nurse. It was very clinacal and not what I expected at all. It wasn't until the next day that I really got a chance to hold my son and bond with him.

Ok well I have more to post but the little man has woke up and is demanding food. I will post more later.

Maybe...

2007-09-28T07:40:00.000-07:00

At 5 am I woke feeling different. I got up and went to the bathroom and when I wiped I noticed that the paper had a dark streak. I got up and turned on the bathroom light and looked again. Sure enough there was a small amount of blood in the toilet and on the paper. I am guessing that it is my mucus plug. Since then I have been having some contractions (I think). We have a Dr. appointment at 9 so we will double check everything. So with any luck we will go on our own today. If not I am scheduled for an induction on sunday. So within the next few days one way or the other we will finally meet baby E.

Day 8 and counting

2007-09-23T08:21:00.000-07:00

So it seems as though my little man is quite comfortable staying in my womb. We are now at day 8 past my due date. To say I am frustrated is an understatement. It isn't so much that I am uncomfortable, because honestly I am far more comfortable than I would have expected to be at this point, but I am just so ready to be done. I will say though as each day passes I get a little more uncomfortable and a lot more cranky. I do ok during the day but the nights are terrible. I get about 10 minute stretches of sleep at a time and wake up in pain, nausea or with over active brain. I am guessing that it is just as well that everyone else is sound asleep at those times because my mood during those hours is not fit for companionship.

Nothing else really to say, my life is in a holding pattern and I am doing not much until I am finally cleared for take off. When the baby does decide to come you may not see an update here but you will see the news posted at Tysgirls blog and more than likely on Susan's blog as well. The links to these sites are to the side so you can check there to see if indeed Elijah has decided to get out.

Counting

2007-09-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was my due date and I sit here today still pregnant. I guess I have provided a good cocoon for him as he is not wanting out. I am so ready to meet him and a little frustrated that he is not more anxious to meet me as well. I am really over being pregnant and I hate having our lives on complete hold.

Emotionally I am a wreck. The loss of my Dad is weighing very heavy on me. Now that all the family has gathered around to wait out Elijah it is so very real to me that my Daddy isn't here. I am so angry and sad at a time that should be the happiest of my life. The counting of the weeks makes it even harder to deal with as at any given moment I know exactly how many weeks he has been gone. It was 20 weeks ago today that we took him to the hospital for the last time. I hate that I know that and know that when the pregnancy finally ends I won't be so aware of the weeks. So right now I am constantly on the verge of tears and will start crying at the drop of a hat. This is so not who I am and I hate being this raw.

My Mom and Brad's parents are all here waiting for me to have the baby. I know they all mean well but their constant anticipation is driving me crazy. I feel like I am on display and that they are jumping at my slightest move to see if this is finally labor. I feel as though my bodies refusal to release the baby is my fault and letting them all down. I know rationally that this is not true, but as I have said I am not exactly rational right now. I should say also that I love having them all here and in some ways it makes the wait easier but it can be overwhelming. This is the first moment I have been alone in a week. Brad is out shooting pictures and I left my Mom with my brother, Brad's parents are still at their hotel. It has been a really nice morning to just collect myself and my thoughts. It was also nice to have a little cry this morning with no fear of how it was effecting someone else.

Anyway hopefully the baby will come soon and I can move on. I probably won't be back around until after the baby comes, but I promise I will post as soon as the little guy finally decides to get out.

I am alive and still pregnant

2007-08-27T15:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't been around much lately because I am trying to get things done before the baby comes. Saturday I had my second baby shower at my brothers. We had a great time and we now have everything we need for the baby I think. My Mom is here and will be for a couple more days. On Wednesday we are having new floors put in the living room so that it is cleaner and safer for the baby as our carpet has seen better days. So anyway I am busy and won't be around much for the rest of the week. Hopefully once the floors are done we can relax and just wait out the baby.

Have some cheese to go with my whine.

2007-08-14T10:59:00.000-07:00

Be prepared for a whiny post ahead. Ok so I thought I was strong and handling pregnancy and all that came with it. I thought I was a big girl and I could get through it without whining too much about the side effects. This weekend I learned I was wrong. Now I have handled the hemorroids, constipation, moodiness, exhaustion, bloating, and even one night throwing up my dinner still sitting at the dinner table at a restaurant with my bro and almost sister in law. I believe that I never once whined on here about any of those things. Heck to some degree I thought these symptoms were funny. But saturday morning I woke up with the worst side effect I have ever heard of. Now I guess I should say I have never been one to get zits and maybe only ever get one a month during my cycle. In the last few weeks though I have been breaking out fairly regularly. I have had zits on my lips several times and I thought they were the worst place to get one, that is until Saturday. I woke up and my right eye hurt so bad I thought I might have pink eye. I went to the bathroom and found no I didn't have pink eye I have a zit forming on my eyelid right above my eyelashes. Now who the hell has ever gotten a zit on their eyelid? Anyway add the painful zits to the sleeplessnes, the complete inability to find a comfortable position, and the extreme pressure on my hips and bladder making me likely to pee my pants at the threat of a sneeze or a bump in the road, and I will say I am over being pregnant and would really like this baby to come early. Brad doesn't want him to come yet but since he isn't carrying the baby and flatly refuses to be the pregnant one for even a day he doesn't get a vote. I guess I really don't get a vote either but if I did I would say come early little man, Mommy wants to meet you.

This weekend we went about getting new cell phones and getting on a family plan. I got a new Blackberry Pearl in red and Brad ordered the iphone that I believe arrived today. Of course this means that Brad has taken over my laptop because it is much better to pair the iphone with the mac then with a pc. Ahh sweet apple I loved you while you were mine. We will have to have our love affair during the day while my husband is at work. Anyway I love my new phone and it has enabled me to be even more obsessive about checking my email. It is nice having a whole keyboard to type on instead of the old way of text messaging. I have found I can keep up a little more with Brad's texts. I am sure I will get faster when I get used to where all the keys are. I still have to figure out how to invite other blackberry users to be in my circle so I promise when I have Brad home to show me I will ask him how to send you my code Penni.

Last night I went and took a lactation class, to help ease my fears about feeding this little man when he comes out. I took my friend with me who just finished her first trimester. I think we must have been the most immature people in the class cause we were the ones giggling at milk oozing from nipples on the video. There were also several parts where I was cringing at the thought. It is still weird to me that these enormous spill catchers are going to provide the thing to solely sustain my child for the first 6 months of his life. The body is an amazing thing and I am happy that these things will finally have a purpose other than to prove what a slopping eater I am. Anyway I am glad that I took the class. My friend was glad to have gone too and knows now that she needs to take classes from her hospital to see how things will be done there. Tonight we have our very last prepared child birth class. I guess after that we will know all we are going to know to actually have the baby. Oh in case any of you are counting I am due in 32 days. Can you believe that 32 more days and then we will have a little us.

I think that is all I have left to say of any value. I will post more later when I have something worth saying.

Because I am Worth It

2007-08-08T15:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took an all about me day. First our cleaning lady came and did all the deep cleaning for our house. It is so nice to have someone do the things like scrub the toilets, even if we can only have her come every other week. I then left the house and went to the mall and looked for a light weight robe to wear at the hospital. I pulled into the parking lot and low and behold the expectant mother spot was open and available. I parked and waddle into the mall and headed into JCPenny. I found a silk robe that fit around my enormous belly and headed to the register, what do you know the robe was even on sale for 20 bucks, yeah me. I was so excited that not only did I find what I was looking for but I found it at the first store I went too. What can I say Penny's has always been very good to me.

From the mall I went to get my hair trimmed as it was really overdue. I got it trimmed up and it now looks a lot healthier. It still looks pretty gray but I won't use a permanent dye until after I give birth because I don't want to be around all those harsh chemicals. After that I decided to go to the nail salon that is in the same shopping center. I got a manicure and a pedicure and I have to admit it felt great. I ended up paying extra to have my callouses removed and then to have a scrub done. I know I have feet issues but the lady wore fresh gloves and massaged my feet and I loved it. I guess if there is no fear of you touching another part of my body with the hands you touched my feet with I can relax into it. Ok stop laughing at me all of you I know my issues don't make sense but I looked at yesterday as progress. Anyway it was a great treat and I felt like a million bucks when it was done. It is nice to be pampered every once in awhile.

Then last night I had my fourth prepared childbirth class. It included the hospital tour. I was a little sad that Brad was missing it but I took my Doula with me and so it was nice to have her support there. I think it was good for her as well. Anyway when we got to the end of the tour we were looking at the rooms that we would stay in after the baby was born, they are kind of small but right across from it is the nursery with glass windows to look in. While we were there a newborn baby and Daddy were in there getting his first bath. Daddy was beet red and you could tell was very happy. At first he had a video camera out video taping the bath. Then he pulled out a digital camera and started taking still pictures. Then he pulled out his iphone and began to text meesage everyone he knew. I was giggling so hard at him because even though I won't be there to see it when our son is bathed I know that is exactly the progression that Brad will go through. I just kept saying that is exactly what my husband will do.

Brad is having a good time at the conference thus far but you would never know it from the text messages I have gotten. The first one said we all crammed into a cab to get to the convention center and my phone got smooshed and cracked the screen so now it doesn't work right anymore. The next message was at 7 last night as I was pulling into the hospital. It stated a bird just shat on me! Again I had to laugh, if he had been with me that wouldn't have happened. So I am wondering what the next text will hold. He has called a couple of times to check in, I am guessing he is worried about me. His calls are very short and always while he is running to the next thing with the guys usually involving beer, so I am farely certain he is having fun despite the little set backs.

Today I am going to go do something with my friend Megan, who's husband is with Brad. I have no idea what we are going to do but I am sure we will find something to keep us busy and get us in trouble. I am sure I will have something to tell later of our nights activities. Well I think I might be off to the pool to try to relax and cool off. Elijah seems to really like the water and it is good for me to have the weight taken off my body for a little while.

We have fallen to the man.

2007-08-05T21:26:00.000-07:00

You know that you have lost it a bit when you drive by a gas station and get all excited that the gas is only $2.93 a gallon. You get even more excited that the gas is Chevron I mean that shit has techron. So we pulled in as my very thirsty needed gas anyway. $35 later we pulled out feeling as though we had pulled one over on the man. It was then I realized how sad that really was. I mean when I got my license gas was just under a buck a gallon so has inflation really gotten to the point where 3 times the price is a deal? I know minimum wage hasn't tripled since then so why are we so accepting of being reamed up the rear by our goods getting so inflated? Well the thing is we really don't have a choice do we, I mean I am in no condition to walk or ride my bike everywhere I need to be. So I continue to pay the price for gas and whine like a school kid each time the price goes up. Oh well I am not here offering any sort of solution I am just merely pointing out the saddness of it all.

Tomorrow morning Brad leaves for his yearly geek conference. He will be gone until Thursday night and I will be left to my own devices. I hope he has a great time in his last getaway before fatherhood strikes. I have a feeling I will go a little stir crazy being home alone the next few days. We will see what kind of trouble I can find.

Well we didn't go on a photo safari as we couldn't think of anything cool enough to get out and do. We did have brunch at the beach this morning though and so a few pictures were taken. Brad posted them on his flickr so if you can figure out how to find them you can see them there. I would post a link but I am feeling way to lazy for that and I would like to limit the amount of people that see how truly enormous I have become. Oh well I am sure I will get bigger before this is over and I am a little frightened with how huge that will be. Well in 3 weeks I am considered full term and in 6 weeks I will have reached my due date. Those dates are getting scary.

I am not going anywhere

2007-08-03T11:23:00.000-07:00

It seems as though a lot of my fellow bloggers have given up their blogs or are taking a hiatus. This makes me very sad as reading everyones blogs everyday is what has kept me relatively sane. I will say for the record even if everyone else leaves I intend to continue blogging. Yes I know I haven't been the greatest blogger in the world and with a new life coming next month I will not even dare to promise to be better anytime soon. I will promise to continue to post on my at least once a weekish kind of schedule. So that is my vow to you the faithful readers.

Today I had the car seat inspected by the CHP. I had attached it using the latch system in the middle seat. Apparently that is not the safest way to install it as the latches are too far apart in the middle so they reinstalled it using the center seat belt. Now the seat is safely installed and ready for Elijah to come. While there another lady had her car seats being done. When I asked her when she was due she said next week. Wow nothing like waiting until the last second, good thing she didn't go into early labor. I never thought I was a prepare ahead of time kind of person but this baby is proving me to be more organized and less procrastination then I have ever considered myself. I guess you never really know what type of person you are until you are tested.

As far as I know we have a pretty chill weekend planned but we will see. I am sure we will end up packing it full of things to do. Maybe we will even break out the cameras and I will have some pictures to post. We haven't gone on a photo safari in a little while mostly my fault as I get hot and tired so easy it is harder to go on our safaris. We will see if I can think of someplace cool that has places for me to sit. We will see, I can't think about anything off the top of my head. Maybe there is some drive through photo oppertunities I don't know about. Ok well I can't think of anything else to say so I guess I should just shut up.

August has arrived

2007-08-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that it is already August! That means that next month Brad and I will be parents to a real human, how scary is that. I can't believe how fast time is flying by. Last night we had our 3rd prepared childbirth class. Only 2 more and we are on our own to figure out this whole giving birth thing. I guess you can say I am excited and scared silly all at the same time. I can't wait to hold my little boy and gaze at his face and know I don't have to hand him back to someone. Of course then I also worry that i won't know what to do and I will do everything wrong. I am guessing the truth is I will do some things wrong and somethings right and somehow they will balance each other out. It is just weird to know that next month he will be here.

I have really enjoyed having air conditioning. I even baked cookies this weekend knowing it wouldn't make the house to hot. I took them to 2 different parties over the weekend and everyone loved them. I guess that shouldn't be too surprising as who doesn't love peanutbutter kiss cookies. I have to say though it is nice to have my ego petted when everyone says how good my cookies are. Ok so there you have it I admit to loving the attention I get for my baked goods.

I know I had more I was going to say but I sdon't remember what in the heck it was. Oh well maybe I will remember later and you few that are still reading will have more than one post in a week. Oh I know one thing was that I had an ob appointment yesterday and an ultrasound. Elijah is growing very fast now and weighs 4 pounds 13 ounces. He has a strong heartbeat and looks to be developing well. I asked if it was still a boy and the tech showed me to big circles and says that is a boy if I have ever seen one. Brad was so proud that his boy had such a big pair. Leave it to a man to be more impressed that his son has a big pair than that he is developing well. As for me I have gained a total of 5 pounds so far this pregnancy which means I will end up weighing less after giving birth than I started out the pregnancy, go me! My blood pressure is good and my urine was clear. I don't have excessive swelling so it looks like everything is good and that it is just a matter of waiting for him to be ready.

Well that is enough for today. I wouldn't want to over stimulate you guys.

Ok I have issues

2007-07-25T11:12:00.000-07:00

So the baby shower went great and Elijah made out like a bandit! It looks like a baby store threw up in our house. It was nice to see all the females of my family. I will however give a word of warning to all the gift givers that read here. A lot of stores have recently changed their return policies to be ridiculously restrictive. Without a receipt stores will no longer offer return or exchanges of any kind for items over 40 bucks. I know I always try to give a gift receipt but sometimes I may forget. It is very tacky to have to go back to someone who lovely gave you a gift and ask for a receipt because for whatever reason they need to make a return. I know that Target is one of these companies and they will do nothing to help you if you don't have a receipt or if the item has been in your possesion for more than 90 days. I received a highchair from my aunt that I really don't have room for so I was going to exchange it for the swing in the same line for the same price, Target would not do it. I finally called my Aunt and explained the situation and she luckily still had the receipt and is mailing it to me so that I can make the exchange, but I felt terrible telling her I couldn't use something she put so much thought into. So if you all have time could you also draft letters to Target and any other company with similar policies telling them that you disapprove of their practices and will no longer purchase high ticket items from their store. I feel like with only my complaint nothing will change but with hundreds of complaints they may rethink their policy.

Last night we went to our child birth class. We had a sub instructor and she had us all on the floor doing exercises. She decided to do a demo and walked up to me and asked "may I touch your feet?" Now we all know my complete anti fetish to feet and so for a half second I thought maybe I can let her do it, but the next second my brain screamed No! Unforunately my brain didn't tell my mouth to say it better so I blurted a stern No. Everyone in the class was so shocked at my out burst that they started laughing hysterically. I was so embarrassed. Why me though she had 17 other pregnant ladies to choose that don't have my issues why in the world would she single me out. Oh well Brad got a good laugh out of it at my expense. So if you were wondering how deep my feet issues run now you know I will risk total humiliation to save my feet from being touched.

Cool Runnings

2007-07-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

So a lot has been going on and I have been quiet about it all. I will start with our exciting news of the week. On Monday we had air conditionning installed. Now at least I am not up all night because I am too hot to sleep. I need all the help I can get in the sleep department. We are so excited to not have to suffer through the heat this summer. Today I am waiting for the guys to show up and finish the job as they left a hole in the ceiling that they need to patch up.

So part of what I haven't been posting about is family stuff. My uncle has been in and out of the hospital since memorial day. He is my Mom's only living sibling and he lives a couple of hours from me. Anyway he has had pancreatitus. The hospital almost killed him at one point by putting him on solid food and his pancreas wasn't ready. Well last week he got transferred to a hospital around here so I was running back and forth to see him. He got released on Saturday and we think he is finally on the mend. He goes back in 3 weeks for another catscan to make sure everything is ok. I will say that I have had me so enough of hospitals for a very long time. I am hoping that after I have Elijah I won't have to see another hospital until I have another baby several years down the road. It has been very hard on me to see the prominent men in my life be so weak. I think by Saturday morning it all got to be to much and so I broke down sobbing uncontrollably. Brad wasn't sure what to do with me and I think it was hard on him to see me so broken.

Friday night Brad and I scored tickets to the Hollywood Bowl to see the L.A. Philharmonic conducted by John Williams. It was incredible. We packed a picnic dinner and took the ride share bus to the Bowl. It was so easy and made for a fun night. Brad was in awe to see his musical hero conduct the music we grew up on. When they played Superman I thought Brad was going to pee his pants. All in all it was a great night and we were so glad we got to go. I was a little sad that I couldn't share it with my Dad as he would have loved it. He was a huge classical music fan and it would have meant a lot to him to know we enjoyed it so much. I guess it is the little things I want to share with him that make me miss him the most.

Last night we started our prenatal education class. It was great to have a class where we could discuss all our fears and concerns. I am so glad we have decided to take these classes as it helps to ease some of my concerns. It also helps to show Brad that I am not being abnormal in how I am feeling. Of course watching 15 pregnant ladies try to get up off the floor was nothing short of comedy. I was realived to see that I naturally have adjusted to getting up right. We will see how the class progresses but so far it has been good for us.

Ok I think I am getting a bit long winded so I will cut it off for now. Thanks for coming by and reading my dribble.

As the Baby turns

2007-06-26T13:26:00.000-07:00

Well Elijah has been kicking the stuffing out of me and has decided that after 3 am Mommy doesn't need any more sleep. The reslutls of this is me being tired and groggy all day. I am also starting to get some of the more fun side effects of pregnancy. Yesterday as I sat innocently at my desk I felt a sneeze coming on. I thought it was nothing to worry about but then it happened I sneeze peed. It was just a little tiny bit but I can tell very soon I will be buying depends undergarments. On another note recently when I run into people I know casually they ask how the pregnancy is going and then how much have I gained. I haven't gained anything but I don't think it is an appropriate question to ask someone. I mean I always sit there and worry about their reaction like are they thinking damn girl you are so huge how fat were you before that you haven't gained anything. It just is never right to ask a women about her weight.

In two days my Mom will be coming for a visit. My almost neice is in an iceskating competion on Sunday. My brother is renting a beach house near the event and we will be staying there through the 4th of July. It will be fun to spend time with the family and hang out on the beach. I expect to get very tan even through my 45 sun block. Actually this is kind of a weird thing but have you noticed that some people over tan? I mean when you look like leather maybe it is time to leave the beach. Saturday Brad and I went to Balboa Island and there was a woman sunbathing and she was very leathery. I couldn' believe she could look at herself in a mirror and still think she needed to lay out more. Anyway no fear I will not be the incredible leather woman.

So I have been listenning to XM radio in my car and mine unit has a button to pick your favorite artists and it will tell you whenever they are on. Anyway several of the artists that I have selected as favorites I realized I have never bought their albums. So it got me to thinking what is your favorite artist that you have never bought their music. For me I guess it is Red Hot Chili Peppers. I like them but they are played so much on the radio I have never felt the need to buy the music. I suppose they are victims of their own popularity. Anyway if you have an artist let me know who and why.

Traitor

2007-06-20T17:33:00.000-07:00

Well the time has come for me to change parties. No not political parties but computer parties. I have gone to the supposed dark side and as of today am the proud owner of a shiny new macBook. So now our pc household has a competiter. So far there are things I like better and things I liked better on my pc. On my old laptop the mouse area had a scroll button and you could double tap the finger area without having to click the button. These things made life a little easier. Most other things I think will be easier on this but I will have to still figure out how to load my pictures on to this computer since I have no idea where the cord is from camera since I have always used a card reader. Maybe I will just plug the card reader into here too, I am sure Brad will have an opinion on the best course of action. Anyway as soon as I figure out how to do this I will be starting a new website for the baby. Apple has some great ways to do this and so once I know how I will get that up and running. I will have some things on that website password protected as I am a little paranoid about having too much information out there available for the web as a whole. As soon as I have that up I will email an address to that for you to have access.

Thank you so much for all of the love and support you guys have given me. This has been a tough time and I am getting through it slowly. There is so much I have wanted to share with my Dad and it is so hard not having him there to tell everything too. I guess I haven't posted much because I didn't have anything worth sharing. I haven't been doing much because I am just not in the mood. I am also tired and very pregnant at this point so there isn't much to share. I guess I am just in a weird place and it was easier to say nothing than to try to figure out what to say. For the most part I am doing ok. The last couple of days have been very busy. We went to Napa for the weekend as Sunday was my Mom's birthday. Of course focussing on that made it a little easier to ignore that it was also another holiday. I won't lie all the commercials for father's Day were hard on me and on more than one occasion I flipped the tv the bird and cried. I guess you don't realize how many people take their father's for granted and I would do anything just to hear his voice. I am sure in time all this will be easier but right now it is so fresh and I still feel so cheated. Most people my age are starting to lose their grandparents where in I have lost all of them and also my Father, frankly I am bitter. On the preganncy website one woman posted a big whiny post about losing her great grandfather. I wanted to deck the bitch. Boo who you lost a great grand parent come to talk to me when it is someone a little closer. I chose to ignore the post because I had nothing good to say to her.

Little Elijah is doing well and is getting bigger by the day, as am I. It is hard to believe how much bigger I will get in the next 13 weeks. I am now in my last trimester so the end is near. It is hard to believe we will meet or little boy in 3 months. Everyday he seems to kick a little more and a little stronger. It is really kinda nice to feel all the little kicks and to know that he is doing ok. The first part of the pregnancy was hard because you never knew if something had happened and so it is a lot better to feel him wiggling around. Anyway things are going well and soon I will look like a giant beached whale.

Last night Brad and I went to a party to launch a new cell phone. Our friend is a party planner so she got us in. There were a ton of old actors there like Allen Thicke, Christopher Knight, Adrian Curry, Scott Baio and more. Brad was in heaven though when he heard that the entire cast of Heros was there! He got a picture with them and I must say that the actor that plays Sylar is just as creepy looking in person. Brad also got to meet George Takai and I think his geek-o-meter went past maximum. I am not much of a partier these days so Brad had a much better time than I did but it was so cute to see him and Jens so excited. I think they probably made all their office mates jealous today.

Well I will post more soon and more often I promise. Hopefully we will be getting airconditioning soon and then I will be more able to post without dying. If not with my new computer I can post from an airconditioned Starbucks near me. I best be getting back to figuring out my laptop. I promise I will actually comment on everyones posts soon. I have read everyones but not commented. See you all soon.

Retail Therapy

2007-06-03T23:19:00.000-07:00

So since I have been in a bit of a funk lately I haven't posted much. We have been keeping busy though. On the 21st we celebrated our first anniversary. To mark the occasion we went to the San Diego zoo and to the Huntington Botanical gardens. We had a good time but it was a little sad that I couldn't tell my Dad about it because he would have loved it. Last weekend Susan came to visit and we had a nice visit although all to short. On Monday we went to my Bro's for a bbq and met all of C's extended family.

This weekend we spent running around, went to a birthday party for new friends. We went out to breakfast today with old friends. This afternoon we went to Babies-r-us to work on the registry for Elijah. On the way home we decided to go test drive cars for the fun of it. Well we are now the proud owners of a 2007 Toyota Rav 4. It is so nice and will be great for the baby. It is very safe and gets great gas mileage. We will be selling off the Kia as some as we find someone to pay a decent price for it. Anyway here is a picture of the new car. The color is Pacific Blue. I am so happy with it.

Loss....

2007-05-08T14:24:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday May 2nd, 2007 the most amazing person I have ever known passed away. Some of you already know this, and I appreciate all the love and support you have given me through this terrible time. For those of you that don't know, in February my Father was diagnosed with colon cancer. We were given every reason to hope for the best and that he would have many more years with us. However this is not how things turned out. It seems my Dad had a very exotic and aggressive form of cancer and with 6 weeks of treatment he was gone. SO instead of listing the details on what all has transpired that ended with me losing my Father I will tell you more about the person he was.

My very earliest memories of my Dad are from when I was very young. Every night after dinner my brothers and I would all pile around his chair and he would read us stories. Sometimes we would bring the same book over and over and Dad always read them to us. Sometimes he would try to skip pages and we would always catch him and insist that he read the whole thing. It was always a special time and we all looked forward to this nightly ritual with Daddy. I don't know when this stopped but I am a little sad now when I think about it that we didn't make the time last longer. I know he must have been sad when we grew to old to have him read to us.

Dad worked a lot of hours and worked very hard. He loved his job and he was very good at it. A lot of men like this would get lost in their work and forget how important their family is. No my Dad. He would rush home and help coach my brothers football teams. He never missed a game. He made us feel good about ourselves even though there were always kids that were a lot better athletes. I guess I didn't realize at the time that this wasn't normal but now I know there were a lot of kids involved in our activities but very few parents. I am so lucky to have grown up with the kind of parents that were a part of our activities.

Of all the lessons that my Dad has ever taught me, the most valuable is love. Dad didn't grow up in the kind of family that said I love you. They didn't show their love very much and you were never quite sure how they felt about you. Dad made it a priority that his house would be different. Everyday he told us all how much he loved us. I never doubted my relationship with him even when I had been in the wrong. The worst possible punishment from this man came in sentences like this, "Karin I will always love you, but right now I am so disappointed in what you have done." With that my world would crash and I would do everything in my power to not ever hear those words again. I think though that more important than how he loved us his children was how he loved my Mom. You could always tell how much he cared and thought about her. She was the most brilliant, beautiful, and caring woman in the world to him and his eyes danced when she entered a room. The love between them was a force of nature and it made all around them thirst for a piece of their happiness. They taught us that you choose love everyday and that marriage is forever. I knew that I had met the man of my dreams when I saw in him what I had always seen in my Fathers eyes. A love like that is worth waiting for and I hope that in 42 years we will still have the same look that was still in my Father's eyes. In the last moments of Dad's life all others that were in the room melted away but he still watched her every move. He no longer heard any of the rest of us but Mom he hung onto. He fought with every fiber of his being to keep breathing for her sake and the moment she told him it was ok to leave he took two more gasps and then left this world. You knew in that moment he would have kept trying to stay if only for her sake. As painful as that was I knew I was watching something rare and beautiful. Thank you Dad for always showing me what love was.

Dad longed to be a grandparent and to see his children receive the blessings he felt that we had given him. While he had 4 adopted grandchildren he was excited to have one made from scratch. When Brad and I found out we were pregnant I could not wait to share the news with him. He was so happy and being able to make his dream come true was one of the happiest days of my life. Today we were told for sure that it is a boy, Elijah and the news was bittersweet. I am so happy to be having a healthy baby boy, but sad that Dad will not be here to hold his grandson. I am so glad though now that we didn't wait to get pregnant and that Dad did know that he had a grand baby on the way. For now that has to be enough. I know that Dad is watching over us and showing Elijah the ropes. He is making sure that he is cared for and gets here safely. I wish that this was enough for me, but the truth is I would rather have him here.

I love you Daddy, I miss you. Thank you for being more than I could ever hope for.

Wasting Time

2007-04-26T16:21:00.000-07:00

Since I no longer can use my favorite drugs, ie wine, a hot bath, or decent TV I have turned to other things to fill my loneliness and boredom. My newest addictions come in the forms of video games. Now let me be clear I am not my husband so my skill is somewhat lacking in these fields. For my birthday Brad bought me a Nintendo DS. My MIL bought me the game Elite Beat Agents. All I can say is that for such a cheesy game it is totally addictive. SO much so that I already beat all of the game on the easier setting. I believe that on my own I have never before played a game until the credits rolled. I must say I was a little sad to see there wasn't another level for me to conquer. So before moving on to the next difficulty level I turned to yet another birthday present. You see Jens and Megan gave me Super Paper Mario for the WII and for the past two days I have been sending a lot of time flipping through the dimensions. Unfortunately now I am stuck because I am too lame to know how to make my Mario jump high enough so I had to turn off the game until Brad comes home to help me. I guess this means that I should start doing things like laundry instead.

Tomorrow I am heading back to my parents for a week. I will be taking the train there as everyone feels I should not be driving for that long. I plan to take my laptop with me so I can surf the net from my folks house. This means I may post a little while I am there but I will definitely be reading all of you guys so don't disappear on me. About my post yesterday, I was kidding when I asked if it was due to me, that kid and his family had problems long before and long after I ever sat for them. I truly believe that he had no chance in life to do better because the role models he was surrounded by were poor at best. I believe that the whole family had and have mental problems that are not treated. That being said the distance between their house and my families is larger than it would seem to say that it is across the street. My parents house is actually quite a ways off the street to begin with and other than pulling into our out of our driveway we never see the neighbors. So the situation wasn't scary for them just bizarre. Like I said you often see people on the news after an event and hear them say they could see that there were problems all along and you think to yourself that would never be you being interviewed, however yesterday when I heard the news I wasn't all that surprised. I will say this apparently wasn't a random shooting and he did know the person he shot. I know nothing more than that but it isn't like he went on a rampage.

Now I have posted three days in a row. I hope for all of you that have been nagging me about my lack of posting will feel full from all the posting I have done this week. I would savor the posts if I was you because I am fairly sure I won't be posting tomorrow. Have a great weekend everyone. Be safe.

And they are letting me become a parent!

2007-04-25T16:14:00.000-07:00

SO I just got a call from my Mom telling me that the kid across the street, who is now 25 and no longer a kid, murdered a 62 year old man last night. I babysat him from the time he was 2 until about 4 and I stopped because quite honestly the whole family was WEIRD! Anyway if my fine early nurturing skills brought forth such a great human I have to question God for allowing me to reproduce. Well I am hoping the damage was done by the environment he grew up in and not anything I could have done. Actually I was far too young to be babysitting anyway because I was only like 10 when I started watching him. I don't know anymore details as to the murder or why he did it but he has already admitted to the police that he did it. My Mom said there have been 3 cop cars across the street searching the house since before she left the house at 7 and they are still there now. She only found out what happened because the news called her to see what she knew about him. She didn't say anything. Heck the only thing we really do know about the family is from 21 years ago. However it was one of those times when someone says so and so did this and we weren't shocked in the slightest, sad really when you think about it.

In completely unrelated news today is my bestest friends in the whole wide world birthday. SO go on over to Susan's blog and wish her the happiest of birthdays. Hey while your over there you can remind her that she is older than me. Hope you had a great day Pooh!

Prime Time

2007-04-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

SO I remember in days gone past when from 8-11 at night there were things on tv that were worth watching. I remember being excited that this or that show would be on on this night and life would revolve around the box in the living room. So why now that we have state of the art High Definition tvs and about 1000 channels is there nothing but crap on? Ok sure there are a few shiny exceptions from the crapfest that pollutes our airways such as Heroes, thank you for finally coming back. But for the most part tv sucks. I mean really if I hear about Sanjaya one more time I am going to shoot someone. I choose not to watch the show because frankly they just aren't that good anymore and I would rather do other things than listen to Randy say Dog a million times an episode. Where have all the good shows gone. Are we so lacking in creativity that all we have to offer society is crappy reality shows or games shows. Where have all the writers gone? Are they now on the freeway exits with signs saying will write for food? To illustrate my point the latest heavily published show to come to prime time is Bingo! Come on your kidding me right. Unless you are under 8 years old or over 75 bingo is just not cool. Please even movies like Throw Momma from a Train tells you Bingo players are a lower form of humans. Now I mean no not to offend you if you are a hard core Bingo player but I have worked the Bingo circuit in my life and I can tell you these are not the kind of people I would watch on tv. I remember working those nights in High School to raise money for our Drama department and hoping to make it out alive. These people were scary! I will assure you ABC I will not be tuning in to your Bingo show and I hope no one else does either. It is time to stand up and demand better programming. I for one will be watching more movies or playing more video games if this is the programming I have to look forward to.

Stuff and more stuff

2007-04-20T18:47:00.000-07:00

DO you ever have so much to say that you don't even know where to begin or what to really say. I have been in that place for awhile trying to figure out what to post and talk about that has been going on in my mind and in the end nothing is coming out. I have been deeply concerned by current events and I thought about posting about those, but now I think that I don't need to get up on my soap box here. I hope that things will ch age due to current events and that in the end we will have a safer place to raise our children, two or four legged depending on the reader. I guess in general I feel like they should focus our energy on the things that are important and not worry about babblings of idiots.

I got a job last week doing some data entry from home. It is really easy and makes some extra bucks. It is great because it is something I can continue to do once the baby comes. I think it will take some of the pressure of Brad if I am at least contributing some. It does mean that my computer and I are seeing a l0t more of each other. This is fine but it does take a toll on my back. So I guess this is another reason I haven't posted much is I am actually working from this computer.

The baby and I are doing well. We go back to the doctor on the 8th of May and we will get an ultrasound that day to truly determine the sex. Apparently even though the ultrasound tech was sure it was a boy it was apparently too early to tell and at that stage all babies have outy organs. So we will see. I am starting to get bigger and if you know me you can tell I am showing. If you don't know we well you just think I am even fatter than I was before. Actually I have lost 11 pounds as of my last appointment. When you consider that a normal pregnancy would have gained 10 by that stage I guess it means I have lost the equivalent of 21 pounds. That means this is the best diet I have ever been on. Anyway below is a picture of me taken a few minutes ago in the office. You all can decide for yourself if I look pregnant or fatter, just don't tell me if you think fat cause it might make me cry.

Well I have more I could say but I am meeting friends for dinner so I best be going. Have a great weekend everyone.

Another Year

2007-04-10T09:40:00.000-07:00

As of today I am another year older. Well I guess I am really only a day older than yesterday but some smartass assigned a larger number to today. Usually my birthdays are different, I look forward to them and let everyone know hey my birthday is coming. This year it kinda snuck up on me and all of a sudden it is like oh yeah it is my birthday. Usually I look at this day and think what will be different about me in this year of my life. Last year at 33 I became a wife and changed who I am legally. I thought that was a huge change, and in a lot of respects it was, but really in my mind it didn't change all that much because I was already fully committed before that. This year though as I stare at 34 I know this is the biggest year of change ever. This year the events that unfold will truly change me forever and there will be no going back. If I thought changing my last name was going to change the care of who I am, it is nothing compared to the change in title I shall soon receive. This year I will become a Mom.

I look at that title and hope that I can live up to what it means. I hope that in the 34 years I spent preparing for this change I have learned to be the type of Mom my Mom would be proud of. I hope to be fair and patient. I hope that I will always love first and to act with that love. I hope that I can disciple correctly, following through on what I say. I hope to be fun. There are so many things that I can only hope that I have the tools to handle when they come my way, that I should be petrified. The thing is I know I had the greatest role model, and through that I think I am ready. I have learned that I will make mistakes and that it will be ok. There will be triumphs and pitfalls along the way and that they will balance each other out.

So anyway here I am another year older. Preparing to begin my life in a whole new way.

Vacation

2007-03-29T03:38:00.000-07:00

I am leaving first thing in the morning and getting on a jet plane to go see the inlaws for passover. I will be back next week to tell you all about my adventure in travelling. Right now I am very tired and need to finish up packing so that all will be ready for the trip. Everything is going well here and the baby seems to be doing well as well. I am starting to feel flutters everyonce in awhile so that is pretty exciting. Today he was stabbing me in my left side with something on and off throughout the day. I told him to quit it but like any other child he plainly ignored me. I see we are off on the right foot. Anyway I have got to get going see you Thursday or Friday next week.

California

2007-03-23T18:19:00.001-07:00

California
Originally uploaded by The Eye of Brad.

Here is why living here sometimes sucks. The other day while I was pumping this extremely overpriced fuel I was stopped by a begger asking me for money. I was a little more tired and grumping than I normally am so I responded. Are you kidding do you see the price we are paying per gallon of gas? DO you really think while I am being prison raped is the best time to ask me for more of my money? He responded yeah and it is only gonna get worse. Then he looked at me looked at the price marquee and slowly turned and walked away from the gas station. I guess he decided we weren't the best place to beg for money.

Oh the things you will miss

2007-03-14T18:56:00.000-07:00

This shall be a mostly visual post of things that I miss while pregnant.

For our next offering picture it full of steaming hot water and the jets full blast.

Just because this is worth mentioning again and because I really want it, I give you the third offering.

Our last offering may be confusing but I will say it is unpastorized therefore a no no

Ultrasound

2007-03-09T10:35:00.000-08:00

So here are the pictures we got from the ultrasound we had on Tuesday. Surprise it is a bouncing baby boy. Elijah William will be joining the family in September.

Baby's Room

2007-03-09T10:31:00.000-08:00

So here is what the Baby's room looks like so far. My brother's girlfriend is giving me her crib, dresser and night stand set so I just need to go pick those up and the room will be done. I will post more pictures after I pick all that up and then really have the room done. You can see that the cats wanted in on the action.

Stuff

2007-03-08T16:50:00.000-08:00

So I haven't been around much and when I have I haven't said much. There is a lot going on right now with my family that I can't really talk about here so that leaves not a whole lot to say. The baby is doing great though so don't worry. I am going to try to scan the latest ultra sound pictures and post them so hold on while I see if it works. So I am sorry I don't have more to say, I promise I will try to update with something even if it is just mindless crud. Well I guess I can tell you that I had a one hour gluclose test yesterday and I passed it so right now at least we aren't worried about gestastional diabetese, so yeah me pass the candy bowl. well that is all for now.

Will be away.

2007-02-26T07:39:00.000-08:00

I am leaving in a little bit and heading to my parents for a week I think. I won't get to anyones blog while I am gone so don't think I am avoiding you. This morning my Mom called and woke me up at 6:45 to tell me it was suppose to be a huge rain storm today so I should leave as soon as possible. That is fine but a call from my Mom before 8 am scares the living heck out of me and my heart was beating a billion times a second. I think she realized how badly she scared me because she quickly said everything is fine. Anyway I hae got to get going and start loading up my car. I will talk more later as to why I am making this trip. Don't miss me to much while I am gone. DOn't worry though me and Zy are doing fine.

Empty House

2007-02-13T14:11:00.000-08:00

So last week was a long week and I am still tired from it. It was nice having family visit but I think we are glad to return to our normal pace. I am still getting used to sharing my office with Brad. He is loving having his office down here so I guess it is a good thing. Of course now that Brad's computer is down here some things had to get fixed. We finally had a new dryer vent put in because the old one never worked and wasn't up to code. Of course this needed to be done for 5 years but my office didn't rank the work to be done our there to be a wall to seperate it from the garage. The cats love being with us while we are at the computer though so I am getting lots of loves. Sunday after we took sil to the airport we finished cleaning out the garage and we once again have 2 cars in it.

So on to the next drama. I have mentioned in the past that we were having a hard time with our wedding photographer. Well so were a lot of other couples and so we all banded together. The local CBS news is doing a special Valentines Day on how this wedding photographer ripped people off and won't return phone calls. Well now all of a sudden calls are being returned and supposedly our albums will be made. I am hoping that this will get taken care of because if not we will have to sue them for breach of contract and pay someone else to make our album. We are lucky though because early on I was very pushy and got all our proofs and all the pictures on disks. So even if we never hear back from the Crook again we can have our albums made. I guess at this point I would just be happy to have an album to show off of our wedding before the baby comes. I can only hope that it takes less time to create an album than it does to create a whole human.

As far as Zy goes they are being pretty nice to Mommy. I haven't had any vomiting and only a few bouts of nausea. I am tired though and don't sleep through the night. I get starving hungry and then can only eat about a cup full of food before I feel full. Honestly though for the most part I don't feel that different and if it wasn't for 4 pregnancy tests and an ultrasound that said I was I am not sure I would believe it. Thanks everyone for your well wishes and congratulations, it is really nice to see so many people are happy for us. Well I better get going I have more laundry to put in and chores to do.

By the way today is my 2 year blogiversary. After 2 years of drizzle I can't believe any of you are still coming around. Anyway it has been a nice two years and maybe this year I will do better at posting more often.

I'm Pregnant!

2007-02-08T08:37:00.000-08:00

So big news around our house is that there is a baby in my belly. On Monday we went to the Doctor and had our first appointment and ultrasound. The babies heartbeat loooks good and is developing well. Seeing the baby made everything feel a little more real. We are so excited to be starting our family and it is nice to see our little Zygote has developed into a fetus. For now we call the Baby Zy because it is what I started calling it to tell it to become a Zygote. Don't worry though eventually the baby will have a real name that we will call it instead of a developmental stage that it has already passed. Anyway Zy is due in September between the 17th and the 23rd depending on what you go by. However that being said I am pretty sure Zy will come whenever it is good and ready. We still haven't decided if we are going to find out the sex because I kind of don't want too and Brad does want too. We will see maybe as that time gets closer I will want to know as well.

We gave our parents the go ahead to tell people after we saw the ultrasound to tell people as once you see the heartbeat at 8 weeks you have less than a 5% chance of miscarrying and we figure if we did at this point we would want the support. Brad's Mom was very excited to share the news and I am sure by now there is a full page ad in their paper letting everyone know we are pregnant. My Mom has only told a few people and is slowly ramping up to tell more.

Tomorrow Brad's sister and boyfriend are going to paint the babies room for us. I know it is early but this is when their visit is so we are just going with it. The room will be done in classic pooh and I can't wait to see it. So that is what has been going on around here, I am tired though and need to rest. I am sure there will be much more news later.

Construction

2007-02-05T16:50:00.000-08:00

Well we are almost done with the construction at our house and things are looking great. Today my SIL Julie and her boyfriend Sean arrived to visit with us for the week. We have lots of activities planned and will be very busy. Tomorrow we are going to every quilt and fabric store in the greater Los Angeles area and then meeting up with my bro for dinner. Wednesday we are headed to Disneyland for a full day of fun. Julie and Sean will stay the night there for their anniversary and Brad and I will come home. Brad will work Thursday and Friday and I will keep myself busy during the day and then Thursday night we will go back to Disney and pick them up. Friday Julie and I will do girlie bonding stuff and what not. I am not sure what the weekend plan is but I am sure there will be some.

Yesterday we had a Super Bowl party and we were all thrilled that the Colts won. We have so much food left over I think we will be having brownies for weeks. I realized I broke a man law by baking on game day. But sometimes you gotta break the law. Nothing much else to talk about that I can think of right now, so I will say see ya until later.

Time savers

2007-01-24T16:36:00.000-08:00

So Brad takes a class on Wednesday nights and so he doesn't get home until almost 10. On those nights I try to hold out and eat dinner with him but I don't want to make a big meal so late at night. So I have found Bertolli meals for 2 in a bag. They are the best thing ever and cook in just a few minutes. The portion is a good size and the meals are tasty. I would say if you want a quick meal for 2 people you should definitely try these. I love stuff like this and so I thought I would ask, what product do you use that saves you time and is worth the price?

On Saturday my fight against Brad's cold came to an end and I lost. I have had a head on the verge of explosion since then. I am finally feeling better today and I can actually breathe through my nose. I have gently explained to Brad that he is not to bring home any more germs and if he does I will kill him. I have bought a vaporizer and it really helped me to sleep through the night. It has also helped with Brad's snoring so maybe it was what we needed all along.

Well I think I am going to go now. I don't have much else to say and I feel like baking so there might be chocolate chip cookies in my future. I will know if Brad has read this by how quickly he looks passed me and starts searching for cookies.

Ok I will post already

2007-01-17T10:29:00.000-08:00

Monday was the 2nd anniversary of the day Brad proposed. We went to a restaraunt called Pecorino and the food was great. We ate so much that night and had a great time. Pecorino is a type of cheese and quite frankly my husband is obsessed with it. The funny thing about that is that when I met Brad he hated cheese and only tolerated it on his pizza but he preferd more sauce and less cheese. Now this man is ordering a cheese plate and savoring it even more than I am. It is funny how things change. Brad and I are really happy and things are going well.

I have been keeping busy and don't have a lot that I can talk about on an open forum like this right now. Our home owners association is crazy right now and I am trying to get to an even keel on things. We are also doing some home improvements that we have been meaning to do for awhile now. In a few weeks Brad's sister and boyfriend are coming to stay with us for a week and I am trying to get Brad's office turned into a bedroom for them to stay in that will also be cat free since they have cat allergies. Getting my girls locked out of a room though is not as easy as it sounds because Z can open doors.

It is raining here today which is nice to have some wintery weather. Rain is the closest we get to winter here. Although it has been cold enough to actually need the heater we paid to have fixed last year, so I glad we finally have working heat. It was cold enough here this morning that Brad actually wore pants to work instead of his usual shorts. Well that is all I have to say now so I will post more when I have more to say.

Happy cHannukah

2006-12-20T17:35:00.000-08:00

SO things have been a little crazy around here lately. Recently I ended up becoming a member of the board for my homeowners association. While I thought that I would simply be joining the board and helping out for a year it didn't really turn out that way, and now I am the president of the board. It seems as though the old board made some poor decisions and now there is a mess to clean up. So I have been running around like mad trying to get locks out to residents to be rekeyed and then get them back and have them installed in the gates. Then while dealing with that we had to solve a problem with the gates in my house that have a ten inch gap between the ground and the gate. So now they are remaking my gate and then they can install the locks. Dealing with the other homeowners and the board are less than fun.

On Sunday morning at 5:30 I woke up rather suddenly to the sound of a cat yacking. I sat bold upright and started screaming "No no no no get off the bed, GET OFF THE BED!" Brad than jumped and said "What did I do?" The cat leaped to the floor and puked all over the carpet. We thought that was it and that I had saved the bed but in mornings light we saw we had been to late. We pulled off the duvet cover and saw that it had seaped through. So with a little resolve dual action cleaner we again had a pure white duvet. I put our other cover on and was thankful we had 2 covers that we got as wedding presents. We kept an eye on Pixel and she continued to puke all over the house. I thought maybe she had a hairball and so I gave her some hairball medicine. Well a few minutes later she was again throwing up. So I began trying to box her up so we could go to the vet. Round one went to Pixel, round two also to Pixel. It was looking pretty grim and I was unsure I was up to the task. So with no regard to the safety of my precious boobies I cornered her and picked her up and forced her into the box. After swiftly closing the door I surveyed the damage, well my chest was pretty scratched up and there were random scratches all across my body. I got Pixel to the vet and after an exam and x-rays they found nothing wrong with her and told me to give her Pepcid. I spend the day and two hundred and fifty bucks to be told to give her a 5 dollar over the counter human drug. What the hell is the point of that. Well today she hasn't puked all day and so we may not have to take her back to the vet.

Brad gave me XM radio for cHannukah. I installed it into my car myself and I was very proud of the job I did. I can be quite handy when I want to be. I have really loved having the satalite radio in my car and at home. I have listened to music and read on the couch which is a nice way to spend time. Also XM has made a cHannukah station so that Jews have a place to hear their music. I hope they will think about keeping a Jewish station as it would be nice to have a place that place our worship music. It is funny their are somthing like 6 Christian channels all year and only one Jewish station and only for the 8 days of cHannukah. Anyway I hope that all of you no matter what you believe in have a good holidays and spend some time with those you love. It is this time a year that I am reminded how lucky I am to have the great family I do and that I still can spend time with them. We will be heading to Napa on Saturday to visit my family so I will probably not be around much next week.

I am going to try to spend some time tomorrow updating all my links so if you are moving let me know so I can finally have the right links for everyone.

Wild Animal Park

2006-11-29T20:30:00.000-08:00

So here are a few pictures from my families trip to the wild animal park. You will see the first picture is of my Mom being so brave to be in the presence of kissing Giraffes. I will give her a hard time for this picture but they are amazing and intimatidating animals. It was so amazing to be so close to the animals. It was also fun to see little C's reaction to the animals. Early in the day before we were on the tour she said she wasn't going to touch them. When it came time to feed the giraffes and the Rhinos you couldn't keep her away. We all had such a fun day and it was nice to spend time with the family. After the park we spent all week together shopping cooking and eating. A full tummy was had by all.

So this is one of those posts where I have so much to say I will accomplish none of it. I guess the important thing is I am alive and doing well. I am catering tomorrow night for Brad's work so I will let you know if I make it through alive. Have a great night everyone.

I think I have a problem

2006-11-14T18:21:00.000-08:00

What does it say about you when most of your hits from google searches involve the word chocolate in some way? Do I need a chocolate intervention. Do you want to know my other most popular hit is "in the doctors stirrups." Seriously have I not typed anything more worthy of people reading? I am beginning to worry about how interesting I seem if this is how people find me. I am also learning that there are a lot of people out there that want chocolate Oscar statues, I am wondering if I should make a mold and start selling those as I get googled daily for it. I guess this is as good of a time as any to say why this blog was called chocolate cars in the first place. When I started this blog I was making chocolate MINI Coopers and selling them to the MINI club we belonged too. They were pretty detailed and took a lot of work. Since it was the only really unique thing I could think of about myself at the moment I named the blog Chocolate Cars. Perhaps not the greatest story in the world but at least now you can stop wondering about it. Apparently all the pictures of the cars are on Brad's computer though so I don't have one to post.

My almost niece's birthday party was very cute and we had a great time. I am trying for almost aunt of the year so I made her birthday cake. One of the Mom's was raving how light and fluffy the icing was on the cake, she said it was like professional icing. I thanked her for the compliment and then explained that I am a chef. She said oh so it is professional. I guess I never really thought of myself that way. Anyway the icing wasn't really difficult or brilliant it was just whipped ganache, something I have been making since before culinary school. Actually it was sort of an accident when I couldn't get it to thicken up to cover a cake and I didn't understand the properties of ganache. I figured it had whipping cream in it I would whip it and see what happens. What happens is you get a really fluffy chocolate mousse like substance that sets stiff. So I don't come off as a total snob I will explain that ganache is half cream half chocolate by weight. You heat the cream to just under boiling and then take it of the heat and pour it over the chocolate. Let sit for a minute and then stir with a whisk until all the chocolate melts. It will start off really liquidy and when it cools it will firm up. You have eaten it in the center of a chocolate truffle before.

Ok now go ahead and google chocolate and see how quickly you find me.

I am Getting Stupider

2006-11-08T17:40:00.000-08:00

So I was reading through old posts and comments I have made on other blogs and I have realized that I am not as smart as I once was. You see I used to have a pretty good command of grammer and was careful to avoid common mistakes. Now I obviously don't know the difference between their, there, and they're. I no longer know when to use to and when to use too. I usually get two correct though. I am pretty sure that I still know that a lot is two words and use it properly but overall I think I am getting dumber. I can't tell you how many times I wish to say a different word than I use but have no clue how to spell it so I dumb down my vocabulary. I am getting a little worried though because if I am becoming this dumb now by the time I am 45 I am going to be in diapers and drooling mumbling about the good old days. I fear senility is not that far away.

So I don't have that much exciting to talk about right now. We are going to my almost neice's birthday party this weekend. She is turning 8 and having a party at Build-a-bear. She is the cutest kid in the world so I sure it will be fun to see her. My parents are coming here for Thanksgiving and we are going to go to the San Diego Wild Animal Park and do the photo safari tour. It is so cool we get to go into the enclosure and hand feed the giraffes and rhinos. The whole family is going so I am hoping we will get some good family pictures. Of course I shall also try to post a picture of me and a rhino because being next to such an animal is sure to make me feel thinner.

I did call and make a formal complaint to the insurance company about the Doctor. I don't think anything will come of it but at least it will go on record. I also asked if it was uncommon to have to go in for test results and the insurance lady said no that it is a matter of policy and some office prefer to always be face to face for results. I guess that means that when you are going to a new Doctor you should ask what their policy is before you go for the appointment. Actually I am learning that in general when you call a new Doctors office it is good to ask a lot of questions about the Doctor and office before you even go because they may not be suited to you.

Ok so Britmum tagged me to come up with eight things about myself that you all may not know about me. Normally I would link her but I am too lazy for that now. I am trying to think of eight things so I hope my list doesn't disappoint you all.

1. I used to purposely miss spell words when we had class spelling bees so I could sit down and doodle because I didn't like standing up still for long periods of times.

2. I almost drowned when I was 4 and for a long time I was afraid to go back in the water. My Mom bribed me to swim and after that she could never get me out of the pool. I became a total fish.

3. I hate being the only one to ever call and make an effort with people. I will do it for awhile but if the other person never calls me I stop calling them and we drift apart. The only people that stay for long in my life are people that I have a two way street with.

4. Most people that know me think I have a lot of confidense. I always feel like a phony. I am starting to learn that really no one is confident just some people are better at faking it. So maybe there really isn't any such thing as confidense.

5. I have an incredible memory for things. I can pretty much tell you the minute details of a date or party. I can also quote lines from movies better than most men. I drive Brad and Susan crazy because I don't forget anything.

6. When I was young I would let my brothers talk me into to things. One time Nick tied me to the back of his bike while I had rollerskates on. I was wearing really short Dove shorts. Nick started to pull me and right as he got up speed he slammed on the brakes. I got tire burn all up my thighs and it smelled terrible and was really painful. He to this day says it was my fault, that I should have swerved.

7. I sometimes think that I am one of the only people in the world that came from a functional family. I am so lucky to have the parents I do. Without them I don't think our family would have made it through some of the things we did.

8. I am always afraid when something I have always wanted is about to happen that it will some how not. I worried that I would be told seconds before my High School graduation that it was a mistake and I wouldn't graduate. I never feel like I quite deserve these big events.

I don't know who to tag with this so if you haven't done this and want too consider yourself tagged.

Betty Homemaker

2006-11-03T22:30:00.000-08:00

So I don't know how many of you are aware of what a gifted homemaker I really am so I post this picture as proof. First you have Brad drinking a cup of hot coco made with the Tassimo beverage system which is about the best thing ever. Behind him you will see the kitchen curtains. I made those. I never even took home ec. The cabinets in the kitchen you will see are a lovely shade of blue. I sanded all the old stain of them and painted them. They still look great after 4 1/2 years. Now is time to prove I am not Betty homemaker. See the plants in the window sill. They looked great now they are dead. I can't keep house plants alive. ANyway I have no real reason for posting this picture other than I thought you all could use a glimpse at my kitchen.

So today I went back to the doctor to get the results back from my pap and blood work. I have never had to actually go into the Docotrs office for that before so I thought that was a little weird. I than had to sit in the lobby for an hour before they took me to an exam room. Then I waited another 30 minutes for the Doctor. Finally the Dr. came to the exam room and had me meet her in her office. She then tells me that all my tests are normal and that she will see me in six months. For this they charged me another copay. To say that I was annoyed would be an understatement. Why in the hell did I need to come in for that and where do they get off charging you to give you the results of your exams. Plus you have to pay for parking. I find it odd though that this would be her practices. I am 33 and have been getting paps since I was 17 every year I have never before had to go to the office for results nor pay another copay to be told I am fine. Besides this I saw that the nurse had all my results when she took my blood pressure when I first got there. WHy could she not say I was fine. Knowing that she had the results but wouldn't tell me scared me and I thought there was something wrong. So waiting an additional hour was awful. I am sorry but if you are going to charge me to give me the results you could at least see me in a timely manner. I do not appreciate waiting an hour and a half after my appointment time to be told I am normal. Need;ess to say I will not be back to this doctor. Brad says I should wage a complaint with our insurance so they will no longer reccomend this Dr. I am not sure it will do any good. WHat do you think. Is it normal to have to have a second paid office visit for results and I have just lucked out all along?

Some bugs up my butt.

2006-11-01T18:00:00.000-08:00

So last night was Halloween and Brad and I really look forward to having trick or treaters come to our house. It is fun to see all the kids in costume and to hear how excited they are for the night. We never get very many kids though because we live on such a busy street and we are in a town house that the people would rather go on safer streets with real houses. I understand that but I think parents under estimate how much candy your kids would get from a complex like ours. We are so happy to get a treater that we give them a hand full of candy and so does our neighbor. So saying this and knowing as much as we love having the kids come how late should kids be out trick or treating. Let us consider that last night was a school night, and that at 9 House returned to tv. Why in the world were we getting knocks on our door until 10pm. I am sorry your kid is awfully cute but a 5 year old needs sleep and should not be interrupting the last few minutes of good tv we get a week. I thought it was awfully rude to come to someone's door begging that late at night.

Another thing that is really annoying me right now is all the election stuff. First I have to say in my 33 years on thins earth I have never heard stupider campaign ideas. Here in California one add against Arnold was solely that he at one point said vote for Bush. While I don't care for Bush or his way of running our country I think that there are far better things to critique Arnold on than him supporting Bush. The ad if anything made me feel that the candidate that aired it was unintelligent and not a good leader. Another candidate here has ads that say " I was really fat, I promised my family I would lose weight. I kept my promise, that is why I would make a good insurance commissioner." Are you kidding me. Are you really saying your ability to be a good leader is based on how well Jenny Craig has worked for you. Please my Dad has lost a ton of weight lately that doesn't mean I think he would be a good politician. Well actually I think that my Dad would be a better politician than this idiot but mostly because he would never say that his ability to lose weight would make him a good leader.

My last complaint is people in stores. When you are shopping in a store remember that others are too. Do not park your cart in the middle of an aisle blocking the way for others. Please get to one side or the other. If you are on the side and you are debating about whether this one or this one is better, please notice that there are other people who know which one is better for them and let them get to it and get on with their day. Do not get into an argument with your sig other in the store and block the section while you yell about pinto beans or black beans. I don't care I just want to buy rice, move. If you have unloaded all your groceries onto the counter and you are waiting to be checked out have the courtesy to put a little stuff separator down. I can't reach it from the end and you can, so help me out a little here. Lastly when you are done with your shopping chart please put it in a chart area not wedged behind my bumper scratching the paint on my car. My car may not look like much to you but it is mine and I would like not to have more scratches in it.

Insert witty title here

2006-10-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

SO I was sitting at my computer this afternoon with the garage door open and I heard someone at the dumpster. I looked over to see who it was, so I could quickly close the door if it was an annoying neighbor, and I saw him. The Grim Reaper was taking out the trash. So I began to wonder what kind of trash does the grim reaper accumulate? I am hoping it was an early Halloween thing but really who takes out the trash in full costume? In other news we are finally getting our new fences and I am very happy about it. It will be nice to have a 6 food fence surrounding my patio and front door instead of the old 3 foot fence. We live on the busiest street in Los ANgeles so it will be nice to have a bigger fence and more sound proofing. The new fence is also this weird plastic material so it won't have termites like the old redwood fences did. They were in bad shape.

I seemed to have found my bladder so you all can call off the search party. It seems that the coffee and soup diet didn't agree with my bladder so I had some solids today and that seemed to help soak up some of the liquid. Thank you all for your suggestions of me being pregnant I am sure my Mother is holding her breath now and wishing it true. My parents are very excited about the prospect of having Grand children and if they had their way I would have gone off the pill on my wedding day. Speaking of the pill can I just say that I love Seasonale. Having a period every 3 months is wonderful, I recommend it to anyone on the pill. It was really nice while planning the wedding and honeymoon that I knew I didn't have to pack Tampons. Although I didn't think about using them to hide stuff in my purse like Bossy does.

So we used to have Comcast Cable and it was annoying and would have some outages and we thought it was really bad. Then Time Warner bought Comcast and our cruddy service went from cruddy to shitty. We lose internet connection everyday at least once if not three or four times a day. They had our whole cable down from Friday night to Sunday night and their customer service was of no help. In short they are awful and we are trying to see now if we have a better option than them. I am saying now though for the record Time Warner Sucks! So when my whole internet isn't out I try to visit you guys and to post here only to have blogger being out. So annoying. So if I have left you no love lately you will know why. Everything sucks.

When oh when is the world series going to be over? I miss House and new runs of shows. I hate October baseball. Give me back my good shows! Anyway I have a klondike bar with my name on it and I am going to go eat it.

Lost...

2006-10-25T22:34:00.000-07:00

At some point last night I lost something that is very important to me. I have looked everywhere but I can not find it. I am not sure how I will live a normal life if it is not found so I shall keep searching. I am thinking of putting up missing poster across the town to see if maybe someone has found it and picked it up. I don't know what to do but not having this has gotten really annoying. Before last night I would hold it for long stretches of time and it never let me down, but now I am afraid it is gone. You see I have lost my dear bladder and today every 15 minutes I have had to run to the bathroom to potty. What is up with that? So if you see my bladder out there can you please send it back to me? You can just send it to the nearest bathroom cause I will be there.

So I had a genius plan this week that this week would be soup week and every night I would make a different soup. Monday was cream of asparagus soup. Tuesday was Butternut Squash with Caramelized Apples. Tonight was Artichoke Heart soup. Tomorrow will be French onion soup. Friday we will probably have some of the left overs. Anyway I have made huge pots of soup everynight and I have packaged up the extras and froze them so we can have them later on when I don't feel like cooking. Brad was actually really happy to have a theme week and has been excited to try each new soup. He also gets to take fresh made soup with him to work the next day and I think he likes that too. So last night when he came home he said this whole having a theme for a week is working out really well you should do that all the time. I guess he doesn't realize how much work it is to do that. Plus I think it would get old. If you ate in the same genre all week I think you would get tired of it. I just like the idea of going into fall with lots of soups already to go in the freezer.

Well I have to go my 15 minutes are up and I must return to the bathroom. I also need to get upstairs and take my beef stock off the stove and strain it and chill it for tomorrows soup. I was happily surprised to learn that I could get soup bones from the grocery store butcher. They were $1.39 a pound and I have made like 5 gallons of stock so I think it was worth it for the price. I will let you know tomorrow when we have the soup though.

I am here, sort of.

2006-10-16T19:01:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to visit everyones blog and to keep up with them, but I have felt uninspired to write anything here. I suppose I could tell you about lots of stuff but I really don't feel like saying much. Maybe it is that I have too much to say that I don't know where to begin so it is easier to say nothing. In anycase I haven't written for two weeks and I guess I should say something. Brad's car had a bad two weeks and it now has a brand new clutch, power steering, toggle switches, passenger door lock, oh no handle in the back, and something else I can't remember. So for the last two weeks I have been doing all the driving. We finally got his car back on Saturday and we hope it will be awhile before it has to go to the doctor again. I however am having my annual Dr. violation on Friday. I know the annual visit is neccessary but man does it suck to have to disrobe and put your feet in stirrups. I mean usually if some on is going to touch all my buts and pieces I at least get a dinner out of it, but with the doctor I have to pay for the torture.

SO this brings me to my question. I will only see a female gyno, do the rest of you have a preference if the doctor is male or female? I am not sure why I won't go to a man but the fact is I won't so we will leave it at that. Next after a pap I feel gross and slimy for the rest of the day, similar to being on my period, does that happen to anyone else? Then there is the question of underwear. I always wear my best undies when I go for a pap, but the Dr. has you disrobe before they ever come into the room, so why do I feel it necc. to have the best undies on? Anyway I could go on and on about my irrational Dr. quirks but instead I will ask what weird things do you worry about or do prior to your visit?

The movie Brad was just working on comes out in theatres on Friday and we are excited about it, Flags of Our Fathers. We got to see a crew screening last wednesday and the movie is really good. I will say that if you don't like war movies there are parts that are pretty graphic, but the story is very good and the effects don't look effecty. It was really nice to see a movie that all the guys were proud to work on for a change, because often films with a lot of effects are more about the effects than telling a story. We saw the movie at the academy award theatre, which is where they screen films to be nominated. the picture quality there is better than at any other theatre and the movie looked great. I have never been there before because it isn't exactly a place the public can go to the movies in. On either side of the screen are giant Oscar statues. It was strange watching a movie looking at the statues when you are pretty sure the film will be nominated for an oscar. I wanted to take pictures to show you guys but we weren't allowed to bring cameras in. Security was really strict there so I din't try either.

So that is all for now. I may post pictures later from Disneyland Halloween yesterday. I also took a video of the haunted mansion. If I can load it into you tube I will post it.

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh MY

2006-10-01T07:49:00.000-07:00

So we had a great time at the zoo. The Tigers and Monkeys stoled the day because they were so animated. The Tigers were running around chasing each other playing tag just like a giant version of our cats. I know nat there rough housing would definately keep us up because our little 10 pound tornatos make a lot of noice on the stairs. The monkey were great too. We got there right as the trainer was throwing out apples and other vegetation and they were a lot of fun to watch srambling for all they could carry. I will post pictures up on my picasa link later today if anyone wants to check it out. I am not sure what time today I will post that so don't knock yourselfs getting there until later tonight. Currently it is not yet 8 am and I have been up since 4am. The hubs couldn't sleep so he kept me up too. I am now wide awake and he has fallen back asleep upstairs. Man does he owe me. So I am going to keep this post short and go to the living room couch to see if I can catch even a few zzzs before it is too late.

Come Here Pretty Lady

2006-09-30T21:35:00.000-07:00

A preview of the view for all of you. We had a great day. More details and pictures to come later.

Yet another stop motion sunset

2006-09-29T22:38:00.000-07:00

So the sunsets around here have been pretty incredible and I can't resist taking a little stop motion video. I had wondered what the use of this feature was until we started going out to take pictures of our awesome sunsets. Now you all can watch it with me. Brad slowed it down for me so it is a little easier to watch than the last one.

I had yet another interview today. It went fine but I am feeling better about the whole process now anyway. After all this though, my client that I haven't heard from since the wedding called to book me for Tuesday. I guess I had to give up on the business for anything to happen. I still plan to get a real job but it is nice to know that there is some work out there if I want it.

I don't talk much about my faith on here but it is something that is very important to me and to Brad. Tonight we had the most incredible Shabbat service ever. I had tears in my eyes at the power of God's work. This was a new trial service and we all sat in a round and sang and worshipped together. I don't remember the last time I felt God's presence more clearly. Sunday we have Yom Kippur services and all day Monday. This is a very long day as we do not eat, drink, shower, brush our teeth or anything else that seperates us from animals. It sounds hard but it is a small price to pay for forgiveness and a clean slate.

I had something else I wanted to say but I have forgotten what that was. This can mean only one thing, it was terribly important. Oh one thing is that we are going to go to the zoo tomorrow so come back for lots of pictures of the experience. I love the zoo so much so I am so excited to get to go tomorrow. I am in trouble when we have kids cause I will be more excited about these kinds of things than they will.

Rejection

2006-09-27T15:54:00.000-07:00

Hopefully above is a stop motion movie I took of a recent sunset. If it isn't there what can I say oh well something else I suck at.

So part of why I have been absent from here is that I have been focusing my energy on finding a job. This is by no means an easy prospect for me. First it is admitting that I am not capable of making a go at my own business. This in and of itself was a hard blow to my ego. Then there is the whole process of scouring the job boards sending out resumes and going to interviews. I hate this more than I can ever describe. Some of you may have the mistaken impression that I am a confident person, this is not true. I fill out each application knowing that in every aspect of me that there is someone that can do it better. So I go and I fake being the confident person. I try to believe that I am the best for the job and that really I am the best qualified. Some times I pull it off and I see myself as good enough for the position. I feel like if I fooled me I should have fooled them too. I leave the interview and wait for the call to see if I am chosen. The phone never rings. I suck up all my courage secretly knowing if I have to call them I didn't get the job, but I call none the less, still trying not to get my hopes up. They answer and tell me "We decided to go with another candidate." I choke back tears and say quickly before they get the best of me thank you, and hang up. The rest of the day I will now spend analyzing everything. What was the reason, was I too fat, too stupid, too underqualified, too over qualified. Was I just not likeable, did I have something on my teeth? Did I try to hard, or not hard enough? All in all the questions come and the only real answer is that there is always someone better than me. So then this new question arises, how many better people are trying for the same jobs as I am before I am found good enough. Why does this whole process reduce me to the kid on the playground being the last picked for dodgeball? How do I continue this process when I feel more beaten by the day?

Beyond all this though there are the people that you tell you scored an interview that are rooting for you. Now that you once again were found wanting how do you face them and tell them you failed? I feel like crap and really talking about this is about the last thing I want to do, yet there are so many people that know, so I must put it out there.

So I have stayed away from here because quite frankly I feel like crap about myself and the knowledge that even here I am not good enough, smart enough, or clever enough to receive much feedback is more than my ego could handle. But right now I am feeling pretty low because truth be told this was the job I wanted and I know I was qualified for it. I know I would have been good at it. I know I wanted it more and that the person that got it only wanted a job and not this job. So my first thought was that I hope this person sucks at the job and that every day the manager kicks herself for choosing poorly. I know that is not the right way to feel but I can't help it. I need the encouragement of my little blog family, and I will try to forget how much better at this some of you are than me.

I do have other jobs that I have interview with or applied for that are still in the works and so in a couple of days this can all resolve and I will feel stupid for feeling so raw about it. But if any of you out there are hiring people please remember what it feels like to be the person applying. We would love feedback without chasing you down. We are vulnerable. We are taking some serious hits to our egos so be gentle with us. Don't ask for a lot of information form them if you don't plan to hire them. If you know in the interview you won't be hiring them let them know then so they aren't waiting for you.

Pictures

2006-09-19T19:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't really felt much like blogging so I took a little break. I am still a bit frustrated with blogger and I am hoping that they work out some of their glitches and the whole weirdness with the beta blogs. I don't know how to explain why I needed to get away from here for awhile other than I felt like I was reading or writing about life more than I was living it and I needed to balance some. So while I was gone I have taken lots of pictures, baked brownies, invented a new burger, shampooed the carpet, played video games, played board games, seen my brothers new car, and watched tv. I could probably go in to a lot more detail on any one of those things but I really don't feel like it so I will leave it at that. I have tried to go by everyones blogs but I wasn't able to comment on everyone because blogger wasn't playing nice today. So if you are on my roll call and didn't get a note consider yourself hugged.

Scary Day

2006-09-08T21:50:00.000-07:00

So I was in my house tooling around this afternoon, when I started hearing a lot of sirens. Sirens in my neighborhood aren't that uncommon as we live across the street from a nursing home. But the Sirens kept coming and I could hear a lot of people outside. I looked out the back and to my shock this is what I saw. The building diagonal from me was on fire and we had lots of fireman to fight it. I should say from the beginning that no one was hurt and the owners of this unit got out ok. I live in Culver City which has it's own fire department, this is a very good thing. Within 2 minutes of the fire department being called they were already here fighting the fire. They got the fire out and kept it from spreading to any other unit or even any more of their unit then the bedroom it started in. It was amazing to see these men stand on the roof and saw any and the burning wood. They were so quick and we had more then 7 fire trucks here. It was really a site to behold. I chose not to take any more pictures of the incedent because I felt wrong in taking pictures, so I didn't take any until the fire was out. Now the question remains what is the best thing to do for these people now that the fire is over nad they can't go back home. Another neighbor has offered them a place to stay so I am planning to go over tomorrow and offer to make meals for them until they are back on their feet. Does this seem like the right thing to do. Tomorrow we will also be going through the house and making sure all the wires are safe and that there is no dust bunnies near outlets. I also plan to talk to our home owners association about an emergency plan and a way of helping people out after a crisis. So I would like to encourage everyone to go check your house and make sure you don't have fire hazards around. Also make a plan for emergencies you never know when there will be one.

Site Meter

2006-09-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

Ok so I put in a site meter because I was curious who was reading me and how they found me. I have had it for awhile now and most of the times people google their way here it makes sense and I don't question it. There seems to be a lot of people who google chocolate cars and from that they find me no problem. Today though I was a little taken back when I found this was someone googled me. "why won't you have dirty hot sex with me?" Furthermore I was the only hit. Ok when looking back I can see how this happened. First of all because of the quotes it set me apart. Second of all it is a lyric from a song that I posted about over a year ago. It was a funny story about my boss, a very prudish christian and she kept walking in when this song came on the radio and then she would promptly leave. But I can't help but wonder if the person that was search for that was disappointed when they read my otherwise pretty tame blog. I mean I suppose with a phrase like that you would have certain expectations, that I certainly can't live up too.

So why is it that every time I go to some ones blog that has word verification I get the worlds longest most illegible word and once I type it in correctly using the power of the force the next word that appears that I am not getting is like 4 letters long and in large easy to read font? I mean I already hate those stupid things to begin with why to I have to get the impossible words? Anyway that is my vent for today.

Last night we had a very nice dinner with friends for Brad's birthday. The food all turned out well and everyone seemed to have a good time. It is nice being able to make dinner at home and have people over. It is also nice to not have to drive anywhere after. We had lots of wine. Now we have lots of leftovers. Anyway I hope you all have a great weekend. See you all later.

Happy Birthday

2006-09-07T15:52:00.000-07:00

Warning if you should see this man out and about today you are required by law to shout Happy Birthday to him. He has turned 27 today and he gets more handsome every day. So feel free to stop by his blog and leave him a birthday comment. Comments make his day.

Pictures

2006-09-04T22:20:00.000-07:00

So for those of you even remotely interested in viewing some of the pictures I have taken lately you can now view them whenever you wish here

In other news we have had a very good three day weekend. On Saturday we went on our photo safari and if you read the post from then you already know that. Yesterday we went on a bike ride with our Rabbi and we talked with him and had a nice time. We came home and rested a bit and then went to dinner with Jens and Megan and went to see Beerfest. Dinner was nice and Beerfest was just as stupid as it looked. Today we sat around the house until 12:30 and then had lunch with Gordon. Apparently today the police were everywhere so we drove very carefully. After lunch we came home and hung out for a while and then went to see Invincible. The movie was very likeable and it is a nice feel good story. The movie itself was enjoyable but for some reason we were in the gross out noises section. Through the whole movie people were loudly snorting their snot, blowing their noses, burping, farting, and any other foul noise their bodies would make. The sad thing is it was from different groups of people and the noises were real not for effect. So I need you all to keep good thoughts that I didn't catch the plague at the movie theatre. After the movie we went to dinner and Gordon met us. We were seated and we got drinks, a long while after we order drinks they arrived. We ordered food and sat and talked. 30 minutes later our food was still not on the table and no one had been by to refill our drinks. Then our food came from a runner and still no sign of our server and no refills. I got up and grabbed the glasses and went over to the bar. When our server saw me at the bar with the glasses he came running to serve me. I told him we had waited forever and he never came by. I sat back down and began to eat my salad. I had a bite of it when I saw it was covered in tomatoes. I hate raw tomatoes and order them to be left off. So sent the salad back. When it finally returned to the table the boys had already finished eating. I looked at my salad not very hungry by that point and saw that in addition to the cubes of almost raw tri tip on the salad I was also given all the fat chunks and Grissle. Yeah disgusting. So at this point we get the manager over and so her the nasty food I had just been served. Her response, I will have them make you a new one. Yeah at this point I don't think so. I have lost my appetite and patience. I removed all the disgusting chunks and took the rest to go. Of course my meal was free. The funny thing is we are friends with the corporate chef, so Brad took pictures of my food and emailed them to corporate. I hope they step up cause that was terrible. Brad was making fun of me after the fact because this always happens to me. I probably have a terrible meal 1 out of 5 meals out. When I say terrible I mean like this too not mild mistakes. I swear I am not overly bitchy or picky I just have a knack for getting bad service.

Hollywood Sign, The Grove and Sunset

2006-09-03T00:13:00.000-07:00

Today Brad and I went on a photo safari. What that means is we leave the house with all our camera gear and see where the day takes us. So todays pictures are all pretty local. The first is at Third and Fairfax on the roof of the parking garage. This is where the famous Los Angeles Farmers Market is. Today was such a beautiful day you could clearly see the Hollywood sign. Often here it is too muggy to see the sign. The second picture is of the fountain at the Grove part of Third and Fairfax, a very trending shopping center. The last picture is of the sunset taken in the baseball park down the street from our house. It seems to be a popular spot to watch the sunset as a lot of people drove up with cameras to do the same thing. Later I may post some of the night shots I got. I love night photography it is my new obsession.

MY Bad Day

2006-08-31T20:10:00.000-07:00

So you know you are going to have one of those days, when at 1:30 in the morning you wake up and realize you had better run to the bathroom not walk. Then when you get to the bathroom your bum explodes. Better yet is the knowledge that this explosion was only the beginning. So being a loving wife I grabbed my pillow and went downstairs to the couch so I didn't keep my husband up all night. I watched movies and tried to sleep inbetween trips to the bathroom. Pixel was very helpful and cuddled up in my arms and purred slightly feel better Mommy. At 8 am the guy came to install a new faucet in Brad's bathroom. (yes we have separate bathrooms, that is how we are happily married) The worker is employed by our association so he kept running in and out to do other things inbetween. Also other workers would come and would walk in to meet him, not what you want when you feel like crap. At 10 the worker came down and in broken English asked if I had removed anything from the new faucets box, no I hadn't even opened it. Well it was missing the flexible hoses and would have to be returned. So I called Brad and yep he had the receipt in his wallet. Brad called home depot and they said it would be no problem for me to exchange it if I talked to Lance. So I threw clothes on and a hat and went to home depot with the faucet. I asked for Lance and they looked at me as if I was asking for a Martian. I explained the problem and an hour later I left with the parts I was missing. I returned home and tried to get a little rest. I took off my baseball cap and for some reason I looked at the inside brim of the cap, what did my wandering eyes see, a flea in the hat I had just had on my head. Needless to say I have been itching my head all day. Let me clarify that I grabbed the hat from inside the garage my house does not have fleas, I took care of them last week! So I am itchy none the less. Then I try to get online from my laptop in the living room and the stupid wireless won't work. So no internet in the living room. So I am about to crawl under the bed and hide until this day is over when the mail comes. What comes in the mail but a card from my bestest friend, telling me how much she loves me and in it she has given me a gift card to Starbucks. You know really it only takes a small gesture to turn a shit day into a good one. Thanks Susan I needed that.

Cheers and Jeers

2006-08-29T15:19:00.000-07:00

So recently I have noticed a lot of things that need commenting about and so I have finally decided to post about it. I got my laptop running online so I am able to post from in in the living room where it isn't so hot and stuffy. Today's post will be about giving credits where credit is due and ripping to shreds things that need to be ripped.

Cheer- Little Miss Sunshine, the cutest funniest movie I have seen in a long time. I laughed the whole way through and it was nice to have a movie that had some smart humor for a change. I also loved that they were eating Dinah's chicken which is down the street from here.

Jeer- Snakes On a Plane, a very bad film if you are a woman. Brad loved it though but I wanted to leave the whole time we were there. Blood, guts and stupidity were a little too much for me.

Cheer- To friends that are always there for you and enjoy spending time with us. Playing board games and just hanging out and talking, it is nice to know that we are cared about.

Jeer- To any asshat that spits their gum were the rest of us walk. If Brad or I step in one more piece of gum someone is going down. In the last 2 weeks we have landed in gum 4 times. Use a trash can people. Also don't spit your gum on seats either because I don't appreciate sitting in your gum.

Cheer- To my little community and how you work together. Every year Brad and I go to the local city fair and we are always amazed at what a great little city we live in. We also have the best police and fire departments in the world and we are so happy that we have them to help us if we need it.

Jeer- To the fast food companies that in the wake of overwhelming obesity react by starting to serve another daily meal called snack time. Do we really need to run to McDonald's for a midafternoon snack? I am sorry but I would rather have fruit, or something healthy to snack on.

Cheer- to the fruit companies that are staring to sell fruit in snack packs that can easily be taken to go to work or to school. I think it is important that they are making some healthier choices easily available.

Jeer- To my home owners association for once again lying to us and pushing our fences farther into the future and not bothering to tell us. Our fences were supposed to be the next to be put up which would mean that next week we would start getting the new fence in our unit. Today when I asked the contractors if we were next they told me no they would be doing all the other buildings first. The thing is we live on the street and need only have a 3 foot fence which has caused our house to be broken into. Why are they doing all the interior units that don't have a safety issue first? I am ticked off that they didn't even bother to tell us they weren't doing our fence until last.

Cheers- To all my fellow bloggers that are way better about blogging than I am. These same people are quick to compliment and to offer advice and I think it is important to know that I love you all. I hope that you all get as much out of blogging as I do.

Where I have been and for Moto

2006-08-27T12:36:00.000-07:00

So the top picture is what I have been doing all week and why I haven't been posting. I printed out pictures framed them and hung them so now our living room has our art on the walls. The last pictures I took at the Culver City City fair today. The dog is a belgium Malinois, sorry Soozieq if I spelled that wrong. Soozieq's Moto is the same breed and she is always saying her dog is spazzy. Well these are highly trained police dogs and they tended to be a little spazzy as well so I took pictures and video to prove that Moto is perfect for his breed. I shall try to post one of the videos later. Hope you all are having a good weekend.

Some times Stupid just follows you

2006-08-18T14:21:00.000-07:00

Ok so I decided that I wanted popcorn for lunch today. Perhaps all the corn in Iowa made me crave all of it's varieties. Anyway I popped the corn and when it was done I poured it into a bowl. I had all of the popped corn in the bowl and I was setting down the pan, when all of a sudden one last kernal decided to pop. It flew out of the pan and hit me right in the eye. The force was hard enough to remove skin from my eyelid. So soon I will have a scab on my eye lid. Very attractive I am sure. So like I said sometimes stupid just follows you through out the day.

Today I got a call from a close friend that is beginning to plan her own wedding and is stressing out. She is at the point now where wedding plans are no longer fun. Man do I remember that well and I am so glad our wedding is over. She was trying to find a dress today and left the shop feeling so discouraged. I am glad that I can be there for her now and help her to know she is not alone. It is funny how such a joyous occasion can suck all the life source out of you for months to come.

So ok 3 posts in one day. I bet you all think I have gone crazy.

Pay attention to me

2006-08-18T11:21:00.000-07:00

This little face needs constant love and attention. Currently she has snuck down into my office with me and keeps trying to stand on my keyboard. The thing is she can get kind of annoying and she drools. It can be very hard to type with her on your lap and getting her fur in your mouth. On the other hand she is so damn cute that you can't help but love her. And Soozieq I don't know what you are talking about, I would never post a bunch of times in a row to bury a bad post.

Traveling

2006-08-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

Today at Chocolate Cars we will talk about some of the rules of traveling. First if you have a weak bladder and will have to get up multiple times during a 4 hour flight don't book the window seat. The girl trying to sleep on the aisle is getting ticked off that everytime she falls asleep you need out to pee. Second when you body check someone on the way to the bathroom apologize to them, it is only polite. Third if your kid is a screamer during the whole flight perhaps you should consider sedating them so everyone else in the plane doesn't have to listen to them scream. Fourth if the news and all the postings all around the airport say no liquid, don't argue with the screener for telling you that you must throw out your coffee.

At the hotel if you work for the cleaning crew and your hotel doesn't supply do not disturb signs, for the love of all that is good and holy don't knock on the door at 8:30 am. To some travelers it could be several hours earlier. Also if you do knock at the door to ask if you can clean and they tell you they are leaving in 3 minutes do not wait another 4 hours to clean the room. The guest may be coming back for a nap and be put out by your being in their room. Also please don't booby trap the closet doors so that when they are opened they come flying off maiming the guest as they try to iron their clothes.

Yeah Whatever

2006-08-16T15:50:00.000-07:00

Ok so I don't feel like actually downloading the pictures from everything including last weekend on to the blog so instead I will post the link to where Brad posted them instead. Look Here It is a little to stuffy down here to catch up on posting so I will leave you all with the chance to look at pictures if you want too and if not than you can ignore this post altogether. Oh any and all pictures that have me dancing I can not be held responsible for, I was drunk on Cosmos and had promised to dance until the last song played. I did my part! Oh and the tower of glasses, about half those are from me, yeah I am missing parts of my memory of that night. So anyway have fun check out pictures, and don't laugh too hard at my expense.

Don't Leave Us Mommy

2006-08-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

So this is what we come home to everyday. The cat's sit on the stairs and greet us and tell us how much they love us. When we go away for more than an afternoon they are there to say to us that they didn't approve of our departure and demand our love and attention from the moment we walk through the garage door. I will say that while it is a little annoying to trip over cats as you try to come in through the garage and make it up to the rest of the house, it is nice to come home to so much love. Today when we got in from the airport there they were.

This is how I feel about blogging some times. I want to see everyone and here what is going on but I feel a little burdened by the responsibility. So I went to by almost everyone and left a comment and I am blogging here cause otherwise JD will come after me and I know better than to mess with a pregnant lady, but I don't really feel like posting. So tomorrow when I have rested from our trip and unpacked I shall tell you all about our trip and catch up with all the meme that I am behind on. Now though I am going to go nurse my catering wounds because it is uncomfortable to have my burnt skin resting on my desk. See you all tomorrow when I am feeling more deserving of your love and attention.

Leaving On a Jet Plane

2006-08-10T22:40:00.000-07:00

Ok I am sorry I haven't been around much this week but I have been crazy busy catering two nights this week for 45 people. Both nights went very well but I am beat. My house is a wreck and tomorrow morning at 7:45 we will be catching a plane to Iowa for a friends wedding and we won't return until Monday. It is now 10:40 and I am doing laundry and I still have to pack. I should also at the very least try to find the bottom of my kitchen before I leave. I am thinking there is not much chance of sleep tonight. So I have a thousand things to do but I am here writing to you all. Perhaps my priorities are a little out of whack. Anyway I promise on Monday I will give a real post and do all the memes I have been tagged for. See you later. Have a great weekend.

Ballad of Ricky Bobby

2006-08-06T21:48:00.000-07:00

Back in early December I was out walking when I saw these cars outside the Sony Studios. I live very near the Sony lot so sometimes you see famous stuff. ANyway I saw all these cars and I didn't know what they were for but knew it had to be a movie. So since I had my camera with me I took several pictures and figured sooner or later I would know what the cars were about. Well these are the cars from Will Ferrall's new movie. This afternoon Brad and I went to see the movie and it was really funny. The kind of movie you have to see several times cause you were laughing so hard you missed parts. I won't say it was intellegent humor but we still really liked it.

After the movie Brad and I had lunch and then we went back to the car because we had lots of errands to do and not a lot of time before the first preseason football game. At the theatre complex the parking spots are really narrow so I stood by the car while Brad pulled out. As I was standing there waiting, I noticed a women looking into the window of a MINI convertable and she was obviously in distress and she was talking to someone or something in the back seat. I went over and asked if she was ok and she told me she had locked her keys in the car and her 2 year old was strapped into the back and couldn't get out to get the keys. ALso he has a very bad ear infection and he is quite upset. I got Brad to stop and pull back into his parking spot and we began to try to help this lady. After making many calls we were told all they could do was tow the car to a dealership and then rekey the car. If we wanted something other than that we would have to break a window. We opted to break the window. So Brad got the tire iron out of the car and began to beat the back passanger window senseless but it would not break or shatter. Normally this would be very impressive but under the circumstances it was frustrating. So another man saw what we were doing and came over. We explained the situation and he said he was a parametic and that we were doing it wrong. SO he wrapped his shirt around his fist and tried to punch out the window. That also didn't work. Then the guy takes the tire iron and uses it to pry the little window down. The window went down into the body of the car and the lady was able to get her keys and open the car and calm the baby. SHe was so happy and grateful to be into her car, especially since moments before she was crying and freaking out.

In this situation I was glad to be able to help and I know she was glad for the help. The funny thing to me is that I don't think anyone else would have even noticed that she was in trouble and Lord only knows how long she would have been there trying to figure out what to do. I know that the reason I noticed is because the car was a MINI and they always draw my attention. Brad and I never go to 11 am movies and we rarely go to that theatre because we like several others far more. I think a force greater than us put us there at that moment to help her and I am glad in moments like that my heart is conditioned to hear the call. We didn't gve her any of our information nor did we take hers so we may never know anything more from her. I think that these types of things are strange and maybe someday we will see the whole picture of the day.

They Giveth and they Taketh Away

2006-08-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

Well our Karaoke On Demand was very short lived. It seems that the fine people at the cable company decided they would no longer like to service our area and so they sold us to another inferior company with out even telling us first. We lost more than half of the On demand features we had before and several channels that would get any mans panties in a bunch just days before football season. It seems we have lost the NFL network. My Husband is pissed to say the least.

Now on to my on going problems with our stupid lying Wedding Photographers. When I picked up the Thank you cards and the two disks of pictures she promised she would immediately mail out the third when someone came in to the office that knew how to burn a disk. Don't even get me started on what kind of moron can't even burn a disk if that is the kind of business they run. So of course last week Brad had to call them to get them to send the disk. She promised she would be sending the disks that day or the next morning, that was Tuesday. On Thursday morning she called and left a message saying she was on the way to the post office with the disks. Still they didn't come. Their office is a thirty minute drive from here. Finally today the disk came next day express mail meaning they didn't mail it until yesterday, a week later than promised. I hate to be lied to and I really feel in this situation there was absolutely no need for the lie. They also put themselves in a position to have to pay much more to mail a stupid disk. I am tired of their excuses and their lack of professionalism. So we are considering what is the best course of action to take.

Currently I have confined myself to the house. I am not allowed to leave until I have all the thank you notes done and mailed. I then have to pick the photos for all the little albums and get the stupid jerk offs to start making my albums. It may be a very long week. I actually shouldn't even be down here posting but I had to run away for a bit.

So next week I may have gotten myself in over my head, we will see. On Tuesday and Thursday I will be catering dinner for 40-50 people. No I don't have a staff to help me it is all me. It is buffet style so I am ok once the food is made and delivered it is just the making and delivering that will be hard. Think of me and my stupidity if you would next week.

Oh I have been meaning to post about this since my trip and I have forgotten. On my way down to Napa I kept passing big trucks carrying tomatoes. At one point in the road one of those trucks lost half their load and there were tomatoes everywhere. Then I saw garlic trucks and they would occasionally lose a clove or two. Finally as I kept driving I saw that a some point there must have been a lettuce truck because there was a big pile of heads of lettuce. I began to laugh because I had visions of the road kill cafe in my head, and I started a story about the vegetarian hillbilly finding their buffet. Also as I drove I had my Ipod turned on to random and I was playing music loudly in my car. Have you ever been driving down the rode and seen some moron dancing wildly to the music in their car and you just have to laugh at how retarded they are. Well if you have seen that then you have probably just driven by me in all my glory and I am happy to amuse you. How to you not rock out to Bohemian Rhapsody?