blowing off the dust

I was curious if this space was stll around. It is a little weird to go back and read the last couple of posts here because I was in such a bad place. It is funny how things have changed and I had no idea what life would really be like living with cancer. Things are a lot more normal than I expected. The kids have had so much joy and laughter this year and I have gotten to be present for all of it in a way I never would have before. I truly know my children and love the people that they are. It seemed that I always thought that pediatric cancer kids were these pitiful children who lived in saddness and pain. Maybe that is true for some but it certainly isn't for us. Elijah can go from getting chemo to running, jumping, and terrorizing his sister within seconds. He is not nearly as bothered by treatments as we are. Elijah doesn't live that differently than a lot of 4 year olds. He isn't in preschool because we chose not to send him but he is no longer restrictied from going. Even wedn't live in the constant fear we lived in a year ago but every once in awhile we are smacked into the graveness of this world. Those times are hard and I still don't have a great outlet for the emotions that come in those dark times. Thankfully those times seem far away right now as we go to swim lessons, Kumon, play groups, and normal everyday life.

Anyway it seems this place still exsists and I may write in it every once in awhile. I am not making any promises though.