Thursday, March 31, 2005


This has been a very long week. My boss is on vacation so that leaves the pastry kitchen all to me. This would not be a big deal because we are slow except that the orders seem to come in at the last second and so I try to find things to do to keep me there in case something comes in. Since I have no clue of what will come when I am playing it by ear a lot. In addition to this I am trying to be very good about doing my exercises. Today I went on an hour and a half bike ride. All I can say now is I am sore. I am however really enjoying my Ipod shuffle and am glad I have it for my daily exercising. I guess I am lucky with the exercise that I can go out and walk or go out and bike ride. I don't think I would be nearly as motivated using stationary equipment. I know of no stationary bike that takes you past fields of wild flowers and then to the ocean but the bike trail next to my house does. Of course a stationary bike doesn't have to fight upwind, but hey mare of a workout for me.

In other news not related to me, Terri Shiavo finally passed away today. I am happy she is finally at peace. I hope someday soon her family will enjoy peace as well. I wonder if her parents felt any sense of relief when she finally passed away. I know when my grandparents were ill it was very sad to see them go but also good that their pain and struggling was over. In any case I hope they now can focus on the love of Terri and not on her time in the vegetative state.

Oh well it is time for me to go to bed. I have to be at work at 4am tomorrow. It is somewhat troubling to know that when I get to work in the morning you guys on the East Coast are still asleep. I am tempted sometimes to call just because you have already slept 3 more hours than me. I suppose that is the stinker in me.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Unplug Me Please

With all the news of Terri Shiavo I have been thinking of how terrible this whole situation is. Now I don't care what side of the issue you fall upon, I have my very strong opinion and that will not be changing anytime soon. My issue is dignity. I am sorry but the media circus that surrounds this issue is bad enough, some might even say distasteful, but to have your final days be spent with so much arguing has got to be terrible. What I wish for Terri is for her to rest in PEACE. There is little I can think of that would be worse than my family and Brad publicly fighting and ruining each other lives over me. So I would like to make it clear here and now I do not wish to be a stuffed animal on a bed. If all measures have been taken to make me better and have failed unplug me. I do not want a respirator, a feeding tube (Life without chocolate?). Some argue her brain is still working and she is still under all of this but unable to respond. This to me is way worse than if she wasn't alert. My brain being a prisoner to a body that can do nothing to respond, no thank you. Ears to hear what everyone is saying but the inability to communicate back. So I have a plan if my wishes are not heeded, I will obviously still die before you do and I will haunt you like there is no tomorrow. Every step you take I will be there making you live through a hell as you forced me to.

I guess the hardest thing for me in this whole mess is the relationship between Mike Shiavo and Terri's parents. I guess I really don't believe Mike is a bad guy. I think he honestly wants what is best for Terri as well as he would really like to move on. The thing about all this is when Terri is finally gone at some point they are going to realize how hurtful all this ones to everyone involved and maybe once they step outside of the situation they will see each others points. By then though it will be too late, actually it is already too late now. All of the mud slinging that has been done in the press can never be undone. Things that have happened can not unhappen. In the end these people have torn each other into little bits and robbed Terri of any dignity she had left. I can not say who is right in the situation maybe she wanted to stay alive at all costs and maybe she wanted to be unplugged. The thing is she didn't make her feelings clear either way and that is what started this whole mess. So from this I say make sure you make your wishes in this clear to your family, all sides of them. Make out a living will. Tell your Doctor as well. Take out an ad in the news paper just in case. I don't know what all you can do but whatever you do make your wishes well known to your inner circle. For me I want to be unplugged and now you all know that. I may not know what you want to do and if I have to make the decision with no knowledge of your wishes I will unplug you too. So if that isn't what you want you had better let me know. That is if you are leaving me as the decision maker and well I don't see that happening unless you are my parents or Brad and I already know what they want me to do.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Old Friends

This weekend my very good friend came up from Northern Cal and spent the weekend with us. It was a very nice visit and nice to have a girlfriend around to do girlie things with. The only problem is that she is a night owl and I am a morning person. Ok let me just say I wish I wasn't a morning person but the hours I work force me to be one. I tried to stay up late with her and watch a Sex in the City marathon but 2 episodes in I was asleep on the couch. Then I got up at 8 the next morning and had to hide downstairs until she and Brad finally woke up at 10. It is funny how when people come to visit it is really nice having them, but it is also really nice when they leave. Something about having to entertain people can be so draining especially if you have already worked a long day. Today when I got home she asked what I had planned for us to do. I hadn't planned anything I just wanted to sit down for a little while and rest before I had to take her to the airport tonight and go to Hebrew class afterwards although it was cancelled. But I worked up the energy and we walked over to Target and did some shopping and had manicures. My ring does look even better with manicured hands. We then were going to go have Chinese Food at Thai Klang Dong but after we walked over there we discovered it was closed for some unknown reason. Oh well she could get something at the airport. I had a really good time having her here for the weekend. I also feel good that I got her out walking, even though she hated it. At least now she sees it can be done. Although I don't think she will keep up with it. Oh well I can't convince everyone.

In other news since we did a lot of shopping this weekend I tried on a lot of clothes and the results were conclusive at all the stores. I have gone down a size. It isn't much yet and I can't really see a difference but down a size is definitely a start. My trainer will be so happy tomorrow when I tell her. She will then promptly kick my butt a little harder. I have stayed off caffeine for 2 1/2 weeks now and I am feeling pretty good about it. I meet with the Doctor this week to get a follow up exam. I bought a pedometer today so I will finally know how far I walk a day. I think it will be interesting. We went to the mall this weekend and one of the stores has a very cool thing in it. You go into this booth and this thing spins around the booth and tells the computer your exact measurements. I think I should go in there once a week and get measured to see what the change is from week to week. I will also be able to tell where the weight is coming off first. Like wow this week I lost Butt!! Anyway they have the machine for 8 weeks and I will let you know how it goes. Well I am tired of writing now so I will end this blog for tonight and write more tomorrow. Yes I will be better about writing on a daily bases again.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

The Ides of March

Today is the day Caesar died. There is something so cool about the Ides of March. So the Ides of March have come. I but not yet gone. I think it is important to remember but no one else seems to care. So today if you read this or next 3/15 remember the Ides of March and Hail Caesar. If nothing else you could at least have his salad today. I wonder if the Hotel in Vegas does anything special on the Ides of March?

Who's life is this anyway?

Do you ever have one of those days when something so cool is going on that you sit back and wonder who's life you are living because no way could this be yours? Saturday night was one of those days. On Friday I was listening to the radio at work and they kept talking about Coldplay playing at a small club Friday night and tickets were only 10 bucks. I seriously considering going and buying tickets when they said that you could only purchase 1 ticket and it would be a wrist band not a ticket. As there was no way Brad could meet me to purchase a ticket for himself I gave up the idea. On Saturday Brad went off to work and I stayed home. Everything about the day seemed normal and we had discussed possibly going out with friends later that night. So I texted Brad asking him if he wanted me to makes some calls. He texted me back saying no we already had plans. He then called me a few minutes later and told me that Rob Cohen the director of Stealth had given him 2 tickets to the Coldplay concert Saturday night. I was thrilled and a little confused, who gets $150 a seat tickets for free? I then busied myself trying to figure out proper concert attire, ah yes I am a woman. We then met Brad's coworker, Markus, who had also been given a set of tickets, and went to the concert. As we were walking in we got more and more excited and then they took our tickets and said you can pick up your wrist bands over there. Wrist Bands? We glance over and see the wrist band table and above it were 3 little letters that sent us all into delight, VIP. We all giggled and jumped up and down with excitement. We then picked up our wrist bands and were told this would get us into the after party. Ok heaven was setting in. We then went to see our seats, center orchestra eye level to the stage. Ahh jumbo tron we don't need you tonight. I then turned to Brad and asked if he ever has one of those days when you wonder who's life this is anyway. He nodded and then I said well today I know who's it is Rob Cohen. Brad agreed that it was nice to be Rob. So that has now become a new running joke.

Now on to wedding stuff. Since we got engaged I have become painfully aware of all of those people in my life who I haven't kept track of. The people you think of all the time but never enough to reach out and call them. I started to feel really bad about all those people I have lost. It seems a little selfish to get in touch with them now because I have something to celebrate and not before just to celebrate their friendship. None the less I have made efforts to contact a lot of my old friends and have had surprising results. It would seem that a lot of others carry around the same guilt for not staying in contact and they also have big things to celebrate. It is shocking to see how many people are having babies!!! Anyway I was able to get in touch with an old roommate that I had lost track of, and it was one of those people who when you talk to them after a long time apart it seems as though no time has past. She is so great she has volunteered to do all the girlie shopping stuff and what not that is involved in a wedding. You may also guess that she is pregnant with her first baby. I am so glad to have a friend like her and still a little sad that I have not kept in better touch. So I suppose the point of all this to anyone reading is if you keep meaning to get in touch with someone. Do it already!!!!

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

How are you doing?

So I have notice that a lot of people ask how you are when you are out and about but don't really care about the answer. So I have a theory about giving an unexpected answer when they ask the question. It almost always leads to a longer conversation. When someone asks how I am doing instead of saying the expected answer of fine, I go overboard. "I am fabulous" The person almost always does a double take and then makes a secondary comment. I am sure I could also catch them off guard by being negative but I like the positive a lot more. Today at the grocery store I used the positive response to the guy in the produce aisle. His whole face lit up. I suppose that people are lonely at work and would like some positive interaction. I think that my little test made both of us in better moods.

It looks like work is finally picking up. We have over a thousand dollars in sandwiches going out tomorrow. The owner also sent out all the cookies to perspective clients so I will have a lot of cookie baking to do tomorrow. She has also been spending a great deal of time online researching possible new clients and making calls. Maybe she will make it through after all. She says she is really committed to saving the company and I hope that that is true. All I know for sure right now is that there is enough work at this point for me to work full days on Thursday and Friday of this week and hopefully next week will be a big week. The time off is nice but I would much rather be working. Wow when did that happen that I would much rather be a work then at home. Oh well Brad has the opposite problem as me right now with too much work. I guess someday we will learn to coordinate our schedules better.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

I love Tuesdays

Tuesdays are such a great day because I leave in the morning and the house is getting kind of messy, I come home in the afternoon and the house is sparkly clean. There is nothing quite like walking in to a clean house. Today was made even better because not only did I come in to a clean house, but UPS had come while Maria was here and she signed for our package so I didn't have to wait a extra day for it. This was no ordinary package though this was special... It is the first gift sent to Brad and me, for our engagement. Beautiful champagne flutes made of crystal with a heart in base. I loved them. Brad got a very funny message from me saying hip hip hurray it is our first package. If I get this excited about the first one I may have to invest in Depends when wedding gifts start coming in. This is so exciting to me. I hope that I remember to enjoy all of this and not get distracted. I realize that this is the only wedding I am going to have and so all of the attention and gifts and planning is a one shot deal. I know it can be really stressful but I hope that throughout this next year I enjoy it. I have been looking forward to this day for my whole life and that I get to marry the man of my dreams, my best friend, and my partner in crime makes it even better. I am also so lucky to have such great friends and family that not only want to see us get married but are as excited as we are to help and to be a part of it. I sometimes wonder what people do without such good people around them, but since Brad and I already have all the best people in the world around us I suppose everyone else in the world has gotten used to playing with the second string. Oh well this is one of the firsts in a long and stimulating process. I hope that you guys my friends will put me in check if I stop enjoying it.

Does anyone wonder what Brad is having for dinner tomorrow night? Well if you were he is having lasagne and vegetables and a Caesar salad. Isn't he lucky? He also gets Cippy's famous garlic bread that is more like a pizza without sauce then garlic bread. Anyway that is what Brad will have for dinner tomorrow, but shhhh don't tell him he doesn't know yet. If you are wondering what I am having dinner tomorrow night all I can say is I haven't even figured out what I am having tonight so your guess is as good as mine. But you can probably guess what I am having for lunch Thursday. Yep it will be Brad's leftovers yum yum. Well I am getting pretty hungry now so I best figure out what to eat for dinner before the munchies take over.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Screwed Again

Ok so it is official, I hate screws. Yesterday when Brad was rotating my tires I noticed that one of my tires had a screw in it. It had not lost any air but since we were putting it on as a front drive tire it was pretty important for me to get it fixed as soon as possible. So today being a Monday I took it down the street to Foogert's Tire. They took my car around and fully patched my tire and not plugged it and had it back to me in under 20 minutes and it only cost me $15. I feel lucky to have such a great tire place down the street. So my Blue Beast is ready to go with 4 nonscrewed tires on it. I find it a little ironic that I keep getting caught off guard by screws.

So I had big plans for today and I was going to skip a day with the walking. My day didn't quite turn out as I had planned. Last night my boss called and once again today there was no work for me. Since I didn't go into work I wasn't there to go to the conference tonight to learn about fruit desserts. So I found myself with a whole day off until my Hebrew class tonight. So I went for a walk today and followed the same route I have walked all weekend which took me about an hour to walk. So I set out and began my walk at 12:55 I walked the route and got stopped several times at lights and had to wait for the walk arrow. I returned home and checked the clock and discovered that it was only 1:35 I somehow knocked about 20 minutes of my walk time. I am not sure how I did that but I must have been hauling butt to cut that much time. I guess I will have to add some side streets into my walk if I want to walk for and hour. When I got home I went to the pool and jumped in and had my first swim of the year. I will give it one word "Brrrrrrrrr" OK so maybe it is a little early to be swimming but it definitely woke me up.

I found something pretty amusing to myself as I walked the last couple of days. I am not a slow walker and I frequently pass other people out for a walk as well. Yesterday there was a young slim couple out walking their dog and you could tell they were trying to exercise as well. The problem was the man was smoking and I didn't want to stay behind them and have to breath his smoke as I was trying to exercise. So I picked up my pace and rushed passed them. I then started to laugh to myself at how humbled these people would be to be passed by a lard ass like me. Granted they probably didn't think about it at all or even really notice, but it made me laugh and push a little harder so it couldn't be bad. The other funny thing that happened today is that as I was walking I was listening to my Ipod Shuffle as I walked and listening to a random assortment of music. A song came on that was the song my trainer walked down the aisle to at her wedding. I had to laugh and start walking a little faster because in my head there she was saying drop those shoulders, try to bring your belly button in to your back, stand up tall and use your posture. Even once in my head I heard you are doing great keep it up. I guess she can find all sorts of ways to get her message across even if it is just a song.

Sunday, March 06, 2005


So today is day three with no caffeine and I have not had even one headache thus far. I decided to not have any caffeine until I felt a headache coming from it and so far so good. I also have been a very good girl with my exercise and I walked for an hour today and yesterday and of course had my trainer come on Friday. It is very warm today so I was going to go swimming today after my walk but sadly the pool is pad locked so I guess that means no pool for me.

The other day Brad asked why it was we no longer gave sacrifices to God and when that stopped. I told him that it stopped when there was no longer a temple. He said why and I said where would they offer them. Of course Brad would not take my word for it and he asked the Rabbi the same question. The Rabbi responded as well that they stopped when we lost the temple. I was so happy I was right. Brad felt a little humbled that I knew more about Jewish practices than he did. I think he forgets that I was a Bible major in college and I do know something about the Torah. Ah well in time Brad will learn not to doubt me.

So there is a down side to exercising so much. I have a huge sore on my right ankle from the shoe rubbing on it. Today I had to stop and pull the heel of my shoe down and walk with it tucked under. My ankle was bleeding pretty bad and it hurt but once it wasn't rubbing anymore I could keep walking. Brad thought it was pretty gross when he saw it. Exercising has also been expensive because not only am I paying for a trainer but as a reward for motivating myself I bought an Ipod Shuffle to listen to when I am out walking. I really like it because not only does it go around my neck, it is nice to not know what song is coming next. For most things I think my regular Ipod is far better but for the purpose of exercise the shuffle is nice to have. Brad joked that I am trying to out gadget him. While I don't think that I am or that it is possible I do have a Shuffle and he doesn't.

Oh well I hope you are all having a great weekend. Brad is in his happy place waxing his car. He has even agreed to rotate my tires. He thought for a minute that he would get out of it because he didn't have a socket that would fit my lugs, however a very helpful neighbor said he did and gave us his. So Brad will rotate my tires after all. So I guess this is my lucky day. Of course seeing him use power tools already makes me a winner. I love a man with a Torque wrench!!!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Veg Days

So today was one of those days where I really wasn't motivated to do anything. I stayed in bed until 10:30 and then got up went downstairs, and made myself breakfast of oatmeal and an orange. While that may not seem like a big deal for me eating breakfast is a huge deal. I then sat on my but for several more hours watching TV and thinking I should get out and go for a walk. I continued to sit there. I came downstairs a couple of times throughout the day to check my email and to see if anyone responded to my blog, thank you Sandy, and continued to sit on my butt. At 5 I realized I had to get off my butt right then and there or I would not be able to walk while it was still light out. So I ran upstairs and finally got dressed and went for a walk. You know it is amazing how something you dread to do all day can be so enjoyable. I was a bit sorry I didn't go out and do it sooner so I could have walked farther while it was still light. Oh well perhaps now with a trainer I will feel guilty enough to force myself to do the things I enjoy once I am doing them. So now it is 6:30 and I have a ton of energy and not much to use it on. I wish it was a bit warmer out because I would really like to start swimming.

Speaking of my trainer though I had my first session with her on Tuesday and it went great. She pushed me and stretched muscles I forgot existed and since then those muscles are trying to make sure I don't forget them again. I think it is going to be great for me to have a trainer because it keeps me accountable to someone and I feel to guilty letting them down. I suppose the funny part of that is that really I am only letting myself down, but I don't see it that way. It is strange to me how the body works, when you are working out you no longer crave the foods that are bad for you. For me when I am working out regularly not only do I not crave the bad stuff but if for some reason I do and eat it my body rejects it pretty fast and I feel sick. However the opposite for me is not true, watching what I am eating does not make me want to go out and exercise. I start to feel like the lack of my favorite foods is punishment enough and I don't want to have to go out and exercise too. I wonder why that is for me. Anyway for now I am going to focus on getting the regular routine of exercise going and let my body tell me what it wants to eat. The only major thing I am doing with my diet is trying to eat 3 meals a day and only drink 1 caffeinated drink a day. In time I may cut that as well but for now baby steps.

On a very side note I want to say thank you to my future mother in law, it meant a lot to me that you not only commented in my blog but you commented in Brad's blog as "Karin's future Mother in-law" It filled my heart, and I really needed that. So thank you. Brad and I are so lucky to have such wonderful parents.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Buzz Kill

Today I got home and opened the front door to get the mail. As I opened the front door a little fedex sticky fell so I picked it up and it said the package was left on the patio. Curious what package are they speaking of. I didn't order anything and Brad didn't tell me he did either. So I went out onto the patio and retrieved the package. To my delight it was addressed to me! I love packages so I was totally excited to rip it open. I looked at it first to see who it was from but it didn't have a sender on it. So I ripped it open and reached in to see what great surprise someone had sent me. In the package was 2 screws from sears and nothing else. What a buzz kill I didn't even remember the 2 screws were ordered. So once again today I hate Sears, just when you get your hopes up for something great they screw you.

Once again tomorrow we have no orders so I am taking a forced day off. I am so pissed off at the owner right now I can't even talk. I know I need to start looking seriously for a new job but they aren't easy to come by and I still don't have a lot of contacts. The other thing is that I will have a hard time finding something that has weekends off so I can spend time with Brad. I never really thought it would matter to me so much if I had to work weekends but now I realize that the time we have is precious and I would like to make the most of it not lessen it. My boss doesn't want me to look for another job and he said he was going to fight with the owner to get me on salary so that I won't keep losing so much of my paycheck. I don't really see this happening but it is nice to know he wants to fight for my job. So I am feeling a bit alone and sad right now and I really wish my best friends were closer. Sometimes it is hard spending so much time alone and not having trusted girlfriends to talk to face to face. I miss living in the dorms where a friend was always somewhere to be found when you are feeling really low. I miss my mom having hot chocolate with marshmallows and her hugging me and telling me it would be ok. Why can't life be as simple as it was when we were younger. Anyway I am in a bad mood and probally should not be blogging when I am in this kind of mood.

I guess what this post comes down to is that I HATE WEDNESDAYS!!!!!!!!!!