Friday, September 28, 2007


At 5 am I woke feeling different. I got up and went to the bathroom and when I wiped I noticed that the paper had a dark streak. I got up and turned on the bathroom light and looked again. Sure enough there was a small amount of blood in the toilet and on the paper. I am guessing that it is my mucus plug. Since then I have been having some contractions (I think). We have a Dr. appointment at 9 so we will double check everything. So with any luck we will go on our own today. If not I am scheduled for an induction on sunday. So within the next few days one way or the other we will finally meet baby E.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Day 8 and counting

So it seems as though my little man is quite comfortable staying in my womb. We are now at day 8 past my due date. To say I am frustrated is an understatement. It isn't so much that I am uncomfortable, because honestly I am far more comfortable than I would have expected to be at this point, but I am just so ready to be done. I will say though as each day passes I get a little more uncomfortable and a lot more cranky. I do ok during the day but the nights are terrible. I get about 10 minute stretches of sleep at a time and wake up in pain, nausea or with over active brain. I am guessing that it is just as well that everyone else is sound asleep at those times because my mood during those hours is not fit for companionship.

Nothing else really to say, my life is in a holding pattern and I am doing not much until I am finally cleared for take off. When the baby does decide to come you may not see an update here but you will see the news posted at Tysgirls blog and more than likely on Susan's blog as well. The links to these sites are to the side so you can check there to see if indeed Elijah has decided to get out.

Sunday, September 16, 2007


So yesterday was my due date and I sit here today still pregnant. I guess I have provided a good cocoon for him as he is not wanting out. I am so ready to meet him and a little frustrated that he is not more anxious to meet me as well. I am really over being pregnant and I hate having our lives on complete hold.

Emotionally I am a wreck. The loss of my Dad is weighing very heavy on me. Now that all the family has gathered around to wait out Elijah it is so very real to me that my Daddy isn't here. I am so angry and sad at a time that should be the happiest of my life. The counting of the weeks makes it even harder to deal with as at any given moment I know exactly how many weeks he has been gone. It was 20 weeks ago today that we took him to the hospital for the last time. I hate that I know that and know that when the pregnancy finally ends I won't be so aware of the weeks. So right now I am constantly on the verge of tears and will start crying at the drop of a hat. This is so not who I am and I hate being this raw.

My Mom and Brad's parents are all here waiting for me to have the baby. I know they all mean well but their constant anticipation is driving me crazy. I feel like I am on display and that they are jumping at my slightest move to see if this is finally labor. I feel as though my bodies refusal to release the baby is my fault and letting them all down. I know rationally that this is not true, but as I have said I am not exactly rational right now. I should say also that I love having them all here and in some ways it makes the wait easier but it can be overwhelming. This is the first moment I have been alone in a week. Brad is out shooting pictures and I left my Mom with my brother, Brad's parents are still at their hotel. It has been a really nice morning to just collect myself and my thoughts. It was also nice to have a little cry this morning with no fear of how it was effecting someone else.

Anyway hopefully the baby will come soon and I can move on. I probably won't be back around until after the baby comes, but I promise I will post as soon as the little guy finally decides to get out.