Motherhood

I know I have been away too long and some of you are waiting for updates on the birth of my little man. For the most part this blog will be about me and my thoughts and tales of Elijah will be kept on his web site www.elijahherman.com. But since you all waiting so patiently for news from me I will post about his birth and some of the joys of motherhood. I guess the first thing is it is amazing to me how quickly you change when you become a parent. My first waking thought is of him and wondering if he is ok, do I need to wake him up to eat. I am no longer the person I was before, I am a Mom and that changes everything. I now understand a little more why women suffer from post partum depression, a lot changes the instant you give birth and I can see how that would be completely overwhelming to some. I am not saying this to imply that I am suffering from it because I am doing really well but to say I get it now in a way I never could before becoming a parent. Some parts of being a Mom have been completely wonderful, when I hold him and he looks up at me and I can see the love and trust in his eyes. Or when he snuggles in and sleeps on my shoulder.

The birth went nothing like we planned and I am starting to think that is just par for the course for us. When I last posted I thought I had lost my mucus plug but in fact I had a slow leak in my water, so when we went to the Dr. they sent us straight to the hospital. At the hospital they did several things to try to get me dialated and contracting. For 34 hours they tried to get me into normal labor and it just didn't happen. So I went in and had a c-section. It was amazing how quickly they took me back for the surgery when we said ok let's do it. I guess they didn't want me to change my mind. Anyway I was whisked backed and in a few minutes I heard my little man cry for the first time. He seemed none to happy about being pulled out of me and displayed his discontent by peeing all over the surgeon who was pulling him out. At the same time he was pooping. Brad then watched as they warmed him up and did whatever it is that they do at birth. I was shaking uncontrollably and was in no condition to hold him then so Brad and he went to the nursery while I was stapled up and sent to recovery. About an hour later Brad and the baby came to recovery and the nurses attached him on to breast feed for the first time. He fed and then was taken back away while I continued to come off the epi. I was then taken to our room and Brad and the baby met me there. Again a nurse was there and helped attach elijah on to my breasts. He nursed for a few minutes and then turned blue for a minute. The nurse grabbed him and ran him back to the nursery. From that point on he remained in the nursery and was brought to me every few hours to nurse. It was very clinacal and not what I expected at all. It wasn't until the next day that I really got a chance to hold my son and bond with him.

Ok well I have more to post but the little man has woke up and is demanding food. I will post more later.