Thursday, March 25, 2010
Elijah is talking more and more. I will say that this is a great thing for many reasons, and I look forward to hearing his crazy stories and posting them for all to see. The problem is that as his language develops he loses some of the really cute Elijah words. For the longest time all liquid was Woe. Last week he began asking for juice or Woe. That was still fine and I liked that he was being more specific with what he was asking for, but then yesterday he asked me for water. It broke my heart a little for his word to go away. Last night for dinner I made pizza. In Elijah that would always be Pia, last night though he said oh Pizza. Why oh why can't he learn more words before he loses his cute words? He is turning into a boy everyday and this is the first time I look at him and want to slow time.
I know it is good that he is growing up and becoming more independent, especially with his sister quickly coming, but I love his being a toddler and am a little sad to see him grow up. The thing is I am not really a baby person. I see the first year as a blob year and was so happy when Elijah started walking and playing. Yes I loved him dearly the first year and I will love his sister too, but now is the first time in Elijah's life that I want to keep him at this age just a little longer. On Monday he will turn 2 1/2, each day he becomes more fun to watch. His imagination as he plays cracks he up. As I am typing this he is on the floor playing with his plains flying them. He then goes and gets his little farm and Moo's as he opens the cow door. He is learning and I for one love it. Yes my house is littered with toys that he brings out and then abandons, to run to the next thing, but it is a small price to pay.
All this makes me a little nervous for when the baby comes. I love where we are with Elijah and am scared about starting all over. How will she fit into the mix, and will Elijah get lost in that. Will she get the special time and attention that I had for Elijah? Will Brad and I have time to be a couple with two kids? I know we will work all these things out, but I am nervous for the transition. I will also say I am nervous to leave Elijah while I am in the hospital for almost a week. Yes his grandparents will all be there for him and will do a wonderful job with him, but he is my baby and I know I can't be there for him. I know I was just as nervous about how our lives were changing when I was pregnant with Elijah and now I wouldn't change anything, but still I worry. Since there are no answers that is all I can do for now.