First 4 months

First 4 months
Originally uploaded by kareeyore.

So today I went to the doctor for Elijah's 4 month appointment. He has grow an inch and his head has grown but he weighs the exact same as he did at his 2 month appointment. I am so frustrated! I know he is eating and that he isn't fussy between meals so I don't know what else I should do. The Dr. suggested supplimenting with formula. I don't want to do that, we have fought too long and too hard to screw it up with formula. I would rather give him cereal but she wants me to wait until he is 6 months. I feel so torn, in my heart I think she is wrong and that formula is a bad idea for him. He is so healthy and hasn't even had a cold. He rolls from back to belly and belly to back and has for a month which is very advanced. He has strong legs and good muscles. The only thing they can say about him is he is small. Should I really be trying to get him to gain weight solely for the purpose of gaining weight when in all other aspects he is beyond great? The other thing is when I was a baby they kept a watch on me for not gaining enough weight and Brad's Mom said she went through the same thing as Brad. They fussed and fussed about our slow weight gain and now both of us now struggle with obesity. If that is the case would it be better to not force the issue and let him gain weight as he sees fit?

I have been thinking things over and I am really tired of taking the hard road on everything. Just once I would love to just have things go as they should. They say the universe gives you things to teach you. Man haven't I learned this lesson already? I know this may not make a lot of sense to some people reading this but it seems like nothing ever goes how I intend. Yes a lot of times the way it does go is fine but still I would love for something to go right.

The Expert

I think we have all met someone at one time or another that is a complete expert in everything and always seems to have an answer or experienced what ever it is you are going through. We all also know that these people are soo annoying and have probably swore to ourselves that we would never be that person. I have found that the worse offenders are parents, and they think there way is the best way and look down their noses at others that think differently than them. I fear I am indeed becoming one of those people.

You see I went through a lot to breast feed E, and it would have a lot easier to just give him formula. I fought from the beginning that he would only receive my breast milk and I was surprised to find that I would have to fight even at the hospital. While all that we went through is a long story and really not the point here, it is the reason for my expertise. You see I have been going to a breast feeding support group since E was about 3 weeks old. Next week he will be 4 months old and we will graduate the group. Yesterday I went to say good by and to thank the lactation consultant for all her help through the last 4 months. Well she had jury duty and wasn't there and so another girl filled in to answer questions but she was not an expert. I found myself answering everyones questions and being the expert of the class. A sense of I have already conquered that came over me and I through out advice fast and furious. I guess I may have been obnoxious to others, or what I said could have been truly perceived as helpful. I don't know, I guess the question is do you know when you have crossed the line?

Today Brad called me and it seems that the wife of one of his coworkers, who just had a baby, is experiencing a lot of the same troubles as I did with the hospital and breast feeding. He gave them my number to call and talk to me so she has someone who has been there to help her to the other side. For her though it is worse than it was for me because they did force her to give her baby formula and it is now further complicating the issue. I want to be there to help but I also don't want to go to far. I hate how doctors don't support and help new mothers to breast feed when study after study shows that it is the best for the baby. Now I don't mean this as anything against people who choose not to breast feed but only that medical professionals should not try to force formula on people who want to try breast feeding. So because of this I have become very judgemental. I guess my fear is that I will come off as an ass if she ends the fight to breast feed.

Ahh gotta go someone is done with his nap.

Calgon Take Me Away

I am beat. Brad has come down with a super bug and is quarantined from me and the baby. That means it is me and E 24 hours a day and no time off for good behavior. Brad usually does the night routine and gets him to sleep for the night. For some reason when Brad puts him to bed he will sleep through the night but if I put him to bed he will wake up every 45 minutes. Needless to say it was a long night for me. Brad still has a fever today and will be contagious until at least tomorrow. I am only on the computer now while I have a few minutes with E napping. I don't dare try to do any of the other million chores I need to get done because as soon as I get busy with something E wakes up and demands me. Brad's parents came to town yesterday and will be here for a month. Since Brad is so contagious they can't come to the house so I am going to their hotel this evening to spend time with them and them with the baby. Please pray though that I have not already been exposed to whatever it is that Brad has because a Mom doesn't get the day off.

E is getting big and is learning fast. Don't forget to check out his site for regular updates and pictures of him. This blog isn't about him it is about me so I am trying to keep them kinda separate. However I don't have much to say so I guess that is why I haven't been posting here. Well I do have things I say I am going to post but by the time I have time to I have forgotten. So think of something brilliant and insightful and tell yourself that was what Karin was blogging about. Got to go the boss is waking.