I think we have all met someone at one time or another that is a complete expert in everything and always seems to have an answer or experienced what ever it is you are going through. We all also know that these people are soo annoying and have probably swore to ourselves that we would never be that person. I have found that the worse offenders are parents, and they think there way is the best way and look down their noses at others that think differently than them. I fear I am indeed becoming one of those people.
You see I went through a lot to breast feed E, and it would have a lot easier to just give him formula. I fought from the beginning that he would only receive my breast milk and I was surprised to find that I would have to fight even at the hospital. While all that we went through is a long story and really not the point here, it is the reason for my expertise. You see I have been going to a breast feeding support group since E was about 3 weeks old. Next week he will be 4 months old and we will graduate the group. Yesterday I went to say good by and to thank the lactation consultant for all her help through the last 4 months. Well she had jury duty and wasn't there and so another girl filled in to answer questions but she was not an expert. I found myself answering everyones questions and being the expert of the class. A sense of I have already conquered that came over me and I through out advice fast and furious. I guess I may have been obnoxious to others, or what I said could have been truly perceived as helpful. I don't know, I guess the question is do you know when you have crossed the line?
Today Brad called me and it seems that the wife of one of his coworkers, who just had a baby, is experiencing a lot of the same troubles as I did with the hospital and breast feeding. He gave them my number to call and talk to me so she has someone who has been there to help her to the other side. For her though it is worse than it was for me because they did force her to give her baby formula and it is now further complicating the issue. I want to be there to help but I also don't want to go to far. I hate how doctors don't support and help new mothers to breast feed when study after study shows that it is the best for the baby. Now I don't mean this as anything against people who choose not to breast feed but only that medical professionals should not try to force formula on people who want to try breast feeding. So because of this I have become very judgemental. I guess my fear is that I will come off as an ass if she ends the fight to breast feed.
Ahh gotta go someone is done with his nap.
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5 comments:
Karin,
I think the smart thing to do would be to extend an invitation to lend support and then see if she comes to you for advise. Make it clear up front that you won't look down on her if she ultimately fails with breastfeeding, because lets face it- it doesn't work out for everyone. I think it's great that you're willing to help out and anyone who sees it differently does not deserve your help.
Karin,
I think it is fantastic that you didn't give up and learned so much through the process. That is how most LC's start! I totally agree that the medical profession does not give enough support and resources. I think THAT is why a lot of mom's struggle and ultimately it doesn't work out for them. With the new mom, I would be as supportive as possible, maybe ask her up front how important this is to her, so you can gauge how much info to give her.
I think the advice is best received and appreciated when there's no judgment attached to it. If you can do that, then I say go for it. Helping people out is a great thing to do when you have the insight.
Holy crap hes gonna be 4 months already? Time flies huh.
Ya know, just give her your experience and she (along with everyone at your group) will either use it or not. Some people like to do things the hard way and in the end they look back and go "oh maybe I shouldda done that"
Oh Karin, when did he grow up?!?!
I had no troubles with my first one, eh took to the breast like a fish to water.
My second one was very small when she was born and just could NOT latch on. I pumped with her and just about the time she was a little bigger and ready for the breast I got really sick, couldn't pump because of the drugs and could not even be around the kids. So she ended up on the bottle way sooner than she should have.
I'm sure that all the stuff you went through to get where you are today does make you an expert. You learned from your own mistakes and others advice. If they wanted you to shut up or if you overstepped your bounds, I'm sure they would have let you know. Just remember you totally ROCK in our eyes!
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