Today we spent the day going to birthday parties for a 1 year old and a 3 year old. We had lots of fun and it was neat to spend the day with lots of friends. Somewhere during the day I realized that I am indeed a grown up. Parties mean a different thing now them they did in the past and it got me thinking of the things in my life that tell me I am indeed a grown up. I thought I would make a list and put it up here.
First though I want to tell a story but I don't know how to fit it in to the rest of the post so it will oddly sit here for now I guess. When Brad and I got back from our honeymoon we stayed at my parents house for a few more days before we returned home. On night my Dad and I were sitting on the patio talking. He asked me what I thought of married life so far. I said "It feels a bit like we are playing house, saying my husband this or that, it just doesn't feel quite real. It all seems too exciting or playful to be real." My Dad looked at me and said something I think I will never forget "Karin a really good marriage will always at times feel like that way, that is how you know it is worth working at." It struck me as so odd that he too still felt like a kid playing make believe that wasn't ready to grow up. I also saw how much he loved my Mom. Anyway I am not really sure how it fits the rest of the post but it is something I was thinking about.
What I know as a grown up I didn't know as a kid:
1. I know what it is to choose love and not just love someone because they are family. I don't think before I met Brad that I really understood what it was to truly love someone for who they are.
2. I know what it is like to lose someone that you love so much that it is like losing apart of yourself. I also know that a time doesn't make you stop missing them.
3. I know what it is to take pride in the accomplishments of someone that isn't me not just be happy for them.
4. Giving is better than receiving. The look on the face of the receiver is way more gratifying than any gift I have ever been given.
5. Words do hurt, often leaving scars much more damaging than sticks or stones could ever cause.
6. To every choice there is a consequence and often the price isn't worth it.
7. It is the small things every day that you really remember and not the big event days that you make such a big deal of.
8. True friends like you for who you are and not what you can do for them.
9. Anything worth having takes work.
10. Liking yourself is more important than people liking you.
11. Driving somewhere pretty is an adventure and doesn't need a destination to be fun.
12. Having a sibling is the best gift to receive, they understand things that no one else will ever comprehend about you.
13. The unconditional love and trust of a child is magical and should not be taken for granted.
14. Seeing a parent in pain is far worse than any pain I have ever felt.
15. Someone knowing what is important to you and fighting for it for you, without you ever saying a word, will take your breath away.
16. Laying in bed together as a family in the morning having tickle fights is often the best part of the day.
17. Every day starts new and you have a chance to do everything better than you did before.
18. Sometimes the right choice hurts to much to face right now.
19. Relationships take a lot of nurturing to survive. If you don't take care of them they fade away.
20.I was and am very lucky to have the family I had and now to have the family I have made.
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7 comments:
When did you go and get all philosophical and grown up, Karin? ;-)
And this one REALLY hit home for me:
13. The unconditional love and trust of a child is magical and should not be taken for granted.
Not only is #13 *my* number, but the sentiment couldn't ring any more true.
When my Niece says (out of the blue), "I love you so much!" and collapses into my arms for a hug, I feel like I could die at at that very moment without a single regret in this world.
So what if this post made me cry a little. I'm pregnant, I can do that.
I worry about our baby growing up without a sibling. Giving birth to the 1st one at 38, I'm just not sure I'll have the time or energy to have a second one.
Thanks for reminding us what's important. I can't wait for #16!
Q- I am not sure when exactly I grew up but I am pretty sure that I indeed did. I knew even before E came that 13 was true but it is different now having a baby that there is a lot of responsibility that comes with that love and trust.
Tysgirl- Sorry I made you cry. I really didn't know how to phrase the sibling thing. It is one of those really weird things, as a kid I hated my brother and wished upon many a star that I was an only child. Now as an adult we are really close. When I lost my Dad last year he was the one person who I could really talk to that lost what I had lost. However on the same token not every sibling relationship ends up this way. I actually have two brothers but I am only close to one and I was certainly not referring to the other one when I said this. I know plenty of only children who are just as grateful for not having siblings as I am for having a great one.
It wasn't a sad cry, it was just a beautiful post and I'm emotional. I should have articulated myself better :)
Wow! Every # rang true... Thank you for putting in to words what I often feel...
so true...this was great..
Great post Karin!!
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