Wednesday, April 20, 2005

The Love Letter

A little while ago I bought the DVD of the movie Jerry Maguire. There is a scene in there where he says you complete me. Shortly after I bought the movie a guest on Oprah was talking about that movie and said that the line gets women in trouble because then they look to a man to feel whole. At first I thought, but Brad does complete me or at least I feel more complete with Brad. I then began to think on the point a little more and I came to the realization that no Brad doesn't complete me because I am fully capable on my own. The answer is that with Brad I can be completely me. I do not have to hold a corner of myself back because he wouldn't understand. Instead if I am silly I can be silly, if I am sad I can be sad, if at any time a wild idea comes into my head I can tell him and we figure out together if it will work. In some ways it feels as if being completely me with someone makes me complete, that may be true but I think the point is that because I can be me I can be complete and that is where the distiction is. It is funny though how easy it is to forget that having someone you can be completely you around is special and unique. Sometimes when you are around someone else and you let a little too much of yourself out you quickly learn it was a mistake and this person can not handle all of you. I suppose the point is that I feel so fortunate that I will get to spend the rest of my life with someone who I can be honest with all of me, and trust them to handle it. It is also nice that he knows all of me and still loves me and will be goofy with me or grief a loss with me without making me feel stupid for taking it as a loss. I love that Brad totally gets my grief over my parents house and feels the loss too. That it isn't just me that is losing a dream but we are losing a dream together. But because we are ourselves with each other somewhere along the way the dreams we each held separately have merged and become our dreams together. This realization makes me even more sure that I am the luckiest woman alive that next Spring I will become his wife and we can begin finding our dreams together.

I know this post was a bit sappy but I thought you all could use it after my current posts. I hope that none of you got too bad of a stomach ache for reading it.

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